Motherhood is really kicking my a** lately.
The last few weeks have not been pretty. I could blame it on the summer colds we all got, the demise of the binkie, or Caleb fighting his morning nap and therefore forcing me to rearrange our morning routine.
But.
I'm inclined to think it's less about our circumstances and more about my attitude.
I need a major attitude adjustment and I'm not sure I am capable of making the necessary tweaks. I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel--I mean, things go great for a few weeks and then, WHAM!, I get totally overwhelmed and can't deal. I'm tired. And still sick. And Lilly woke up at 5:45 this morning. Um...no. I CANNOT handle 5:45.
I just can't.
Sometimes, after a really long week, I crave to be out in the world--outside the walls of my house. And sometimes, I really want to be alone. All alone. No poop, no whining, no meals to fix. But then I'm alone for an hour or two and then I just want to know what my kids are doing. Has Caleb pooped yet? Did Lilly eat all her yogurt? It's sick, really. And totally making me crazy.
Poor Ryan. He has a crazy woman for a wife.
We are in a transition period. And changes are hard--I'm remembering that now. Caleb is growing out of his morning nap, and Lilly is maybe NOT napping at all somedays. Maybe when things fall into a normal pattern, we'll find our happy place again. I'm a creature of habit, maybe? I've never thought of myself as someone who needs structure, but I think that has changed since I've become a mother. I like knowing what's coming next and right now, I have no idea what is going to happen from moment to moment.
Some other things that are making me crazy:
-I have a pantry full of food, but nothing to eat.
-There is no Tylenol on the store shelves and I'm not convinced the store brands work.
-I can't find a comfortable temperature for my house--we are hot, and then we are cold.
-I haven't worked out in almost a week...(this could be a part of the problem mentioned above)
-Lilly is no longer liking bananas, making her fruit intake zilch.
-Lilly is also not that excited about the potty chart I made her.
-My bangs. It's time to grow them out. Uuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh.
So, while I wait for the crazies to pass, I'm going to stock up on chocolate and caffeine. Lots and lots of those two items.
9 comments:
I know - routine, routine, routine - it's a savior and when it's out of whack, nothing is right in the world. I think I am going to die when the day comes that Georgia doesn't nap. Already it's down to only an hour and that feels like barely enough time to get myself back together to deal with the second half of the day...
With a newborn nothing seems to be predictable and I am struggling too- it is definitely hard to not know what is coming next. I hope things calm down a bit. Chocolate and caffeine- great idea (i'd be right there with you if only they didn't make my nursing babe sick).
Getting rid of the binkie did something similar in our home. And it was a tough (long) transition. Mainly because it took time for her to be able to go from 1 to 0 nap during the day.
Devin has always bought generic Tylenol/Motrin and now says he was right all along! I think it works fine.
Stock up on Izze's - I just saw the grapefruit kind at Costco (delicious!).
I forgot to add that you look like a supermodel in this photo. Your hair?? How do you make it so perfect?
I think bangs you aren't happy with are enough to make you crazy. I got a bad (BAD) trim about 6 weeks ago & I've been dying ever since. Two more weeks (?!) & I'll get them really fixed (they were too bad for my good hair person to properly fix them last time - still needed to grow).
Wow. Look at me & my petty concerns.
Hang in there with the mom stuff & take some copious notes for me. At least you look good while doing it (just like Missy said).
I think my biggest dilemma with motherhood is the lack of routine. Seriously, one day my children wake up at 8:00 and the next it is 6:00 a.m.
I am learning slowly that if it's not one thing, it's another. If they are healthy, just wait until next week, they'll be sick for sure.
I love your posts though. Glad we're all in the same boat.
Why don't you just come hang out with me?
That's a total Ryan face.
I think Lila is transitioning to one nap too and it's been more of a nightmare than her previous sleep habits, if you can believe that.
And J is in UK for 2 weeks so I hear ya. LIfe is so rough sometimes. Only a mom gets it.
Hang in.
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