January 20

This is Ryan.

There's this great part in the movie Michael Clayton where George Clooney's character is describing a cut-throat lawyer, and he says to the evil client: "It's not like you hired the guy for his low-key regularity..."

Every time I see it on a movie channel, I stop and watch it. I also do this with Titanic, when the ship's sinking, and with the Clive Owen movie Children of Men--and, lately, anytime I see Band of Brothers on HBO. (Just one peculiarity of mine that drives Jen insane).

But I guess that's the point. For years, whenever Jen would describe me to people--even her ex-boyfriends--she'd say, "Ryan's crazy." It is her default description of me, and I guess in some What About Bob?-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest kind-of-way... it's a compliment; but I never had that catch-all compliment descriptor for Jen.

Until Michael Clayton.

What I love most about Jen is her low-key regularity. It's been tested with parenthood, sure, but it's still there, and with a shrug, she'll be over it, and off to something truly important.

I hope my kids wind up with that part of her personality, because it makes hardship more bearable and tempers exuberance.

Jen's also indulgent about everything because she values things for what they are, and it makes her otherwise quirky obsessions things of style, grace and sophistication (Tom Ford, call me. Come over to our place, please).

She's easy to be around--another of those "low-key regularity" family of traits that make me love her. I'm not far off, either. You see a lot of this in what her friends and family say about her. I asked a handful of them to write love notes. I'm always hacking into Jen's blog alone on her birthday. Why not share in the moment this year?

Here's what they said:

From Lisa (Jen's mom) and Mike (her dad):

Jen, you are beautiful inside and out.

A few birthday items:

I love your laugh.

I love how you always manage to sneak upstairs and take a nap when I visit.

I love watching how you interact with Lilly and Cal. You are a wonderful mother.

You take lots of beautiful pictures, get them framed, and then don't hang them!

You read good literature , but you can't resist People and Us Weekly.

You have a style and grace about you that people enjoy. You always have trendy, fun stuff that I want to run out and buy for myself!

You talk to me when I'm feeling blue. I appreciate that more than you know.

Dad appreciates your good cooking!

Dad says you always keep calm and carry on.

When I look at you, I am reminded of how blessed I am to be your mother and I'm grateful we are such good friends.

Happy Birthday, Jen! We love you so much.

Mom and Dad

From Shannon (Jen's sister):

One of the best things I love about Jen is her laugh. I'd say it's a cross between a mouse and The Joker. It just always puts me in a good mood whenever I hear it. Lucky for me, we laugh a lot in our family. Over the last couple of years, since Jen has started her family, I can't get over what a wonderful mother she has become. To watch her with Lilly and Cal makes me only hope to be as good as a mother as she is. As her little sister, I have looked up to Jen in a lot of ways. She is smart, caring, funny, stylish and witty. I loved her style so much, I even recently got bangs too! I know when I am home, and with Jen's family, everything just feels better. I get to spend time with Jen and her lovely Lilly and Cal baby. I 'm so excited to watch those two grow up and to be a part of their little lives. Jen has the ability to light up any room with her positive vibes, style , red lips and infectious laugh. Jen, my pretty sister, I love you very very much. Happy Birthday! I'll be home for another visit very soon.

Love,

Shan

From Brianne (Jen's sister):

I mean, really, at the end of the day, I got pretty lucky as far as siblings go, and I'm even luckier that I'm able to call my older sister my best friend. I love hanging out with Jen. We always have so much fun together. We laugh at the same things, think the same people are crazy, and both like a little snack at the mall every once in a while. I know that Jen has my back too, no matter what. Even when I try on a trendy dress and ask her how it looks. She'll cock her head to the side, give a sympathetic smile and be all, "ummm..." She's honest and tells it like it is. She's on my side when everyone else is MIA. She'll always be there to tell me that I'm not the hot mess and that everyone else is. And that's more than a little comforting. Love you, Jen! Happy Birthday!

From Christian (Jen's brother):

uhhhhhh.........

[I think that's Chris's version of getting choked up, kind of like at testimony meeting, and he can't find the words, so he just makes that noise and wipes a few tears away, then walks away after giving Jen a hug. I've seen them together--hear them talking on the phone at all hours of the day and night--and they have an unspoken affection and love that carries with it something profound. Chris, it's cool. We get it. -Ry]

From Kelly (one of Jen's best friends):

Happy Birthday, Jen. Where do I start? I have so many funny memories with you. I mean, we were roommates through college, doesn't that say enough? I could tell your readers about all our late night trips to 7-11 for Pepsi and chips; our totally crazy roommates (remember the one with bulimia?); our road trips to California; or dare I mention the dance clubs?

But one of my favorite memories with you had to be when your Dear Ol' Dad decided to buy you your first computer way back in 1995. We stayed up all night, and I mean all night, until the sun came up, "connecting" to AOL and learning all about chat rooms. How cool we thought we were, chatting with random boys. Remember what a good idea we thought it was to then give these random boys are phone number? I just remember us screaming when the phone started ringing at 4 a.m. We couldn't believe they were all actually calling. Why were we so surprised? I'm sure that is exactly what your dad intended you to be doing with your new computer.

The thing is, Jen, the reason I have so many funny memories with you is because you are such a fun and funny person! I love your great sense of humor and laid back style. You have always been true to yourself and honest to those around you. You are a wonderful friend to me and I will cherish our friendship always. Thank you for always being there for me through thick and thin. I know I can always count on you. Happy Birthday Best, I love you.

Kelly

From Meggan (my sister):

I've loved Jen since the first time I met her. A fashionista in her finest form, Jen gives off the greatest first impression with her confidence and style. But she only gets better once the conversation begins. Jen is, by far, one of the easiest people to talk to. From small talk to serious matters, words flow freely from one thing to the next. I really don't ever get tired of hearing her take on things. She's frank about life and will say things as they are, which inevitably creates an instant bond and openness. Because who really wants to leave a conversation feeling like their life/problems/issues are too taboo to talk about? Or that they've just been "one-upped" and thrashed by comparison? You just don't come away from Jen feeling that way. It's refreshing, really.

She is generous, smart, creative, and patient. I really am a better person when I think about what I've learned just by watching her be herself.

Happy Birthday Jen!

From Missy (my sister):

There is so much I love about Jen. She fits in wherever she goes. But, she doesn't lose herself in the process. A group of Juice and my friends met up with Ryan's friends in Sacramento to run a race from San Jose to Santa Cruz. 199 miles, 12 people, 2 vans, 24 hours. We took turns running, found bathrooms in the wilderness, and only added layers of clothing when weather demanded.

Jen didn't care to run that race, but she willingly drove the 12 person van filled with stinky runners. When Devin, probably the one who smelled the worst, mentioned that he did not smell at all, Jen didn't believe him.

"No, really, I don't. Smell my wife beater," he said, as he threw her his top.

She took one whiff and started dry heaving.

Oh, Jen. I think we still owe you for that one. I know Devin does at least.

She has style, laughs easily, doesn't dwell on unimportant things and can make an intelligent comment in any conversation (celebrities, politics, babies, books...).

She is the perfect sister-in-law. I forget about the in-law part though because to me she is another older sister that I can shop with, commiserate with and receive answers from--someone that I can always trust.

Happy Birthday, Jen!

From Jen's friend Heidi:

The things I love most about Jen include her class, her humor, and her honesty. She has great taste in shoes/makeup/books/etc. She makes those around her feel comfortable, which I admire so much. I love her knowledge of all things celebrity. She is the one that told me about blogs back in 2005. I'm so glad we have kept in touch since our London days. Happy Birthday Jen!!

From Jen's friend Kathryn:

Happy Birthday to Jen. I like that we get to focus on her for one day out of the year.

I've had a unique friendship with Jen in that knew her in silly blogland before I really knew (i.e actually met) her. Perhaps strange to an outsider, & it could have been quite awkward or disappointing to actually meet, but nope - not with Jen. Of course not. There were no surprises in meeting her, except that I liked her even more. I'm sure that this can be credited to my very favorite quality about her (& about my favorite people in general) - she's just real. 100% herself, in how she approaches life, her family, her children. She's unabashedly who she is, without filters. Jen isn't someone who makes adjustments based on who she's with. She's genuine. She's sincere. These qualities make me all the more comfortable with who I am, make her a lovely friend & make me trust her & love her that much more.

Happy birthday to you, friend.

From Jen's friend Lindsey:

What I love about Jen...

I love everything about Jen. She is effortlessly cool, stylish, clever, beautiful, funny, and yet still entirely down-to-earth. I love that Jen is 'real'. There are no pretenses with her and considering how freaking great she is, that's pretty amazing. Jen is true to herself without ever, ever being judgmental. For all of these reasons, she is one of my favorite people. Plus, it is just fun and easy to be around her. Even when I don't see her often (talking years here), it's so easy to pick up right where we left off at next meeting. Also, Jen let me borrow her shoes for my first date with my husband. Thanks, Jen. You're the best London roomie. Happy Birthday. I hope you have the best day.

From Dev, who needs no introduction after the story up above:

Here are a few reasons why I hold Jen in such high esteem:

1. She's real. There's no mincing of words or feigning of friendship - I
love it. She could be German.

2. She's the Mama Llama. During our Tahoe excursion, Lilly, Avery, and I
gathered around and listened to Jen read the book "Mama Llama." I don't
know why it impressed me so much, but she read the words with a
tenderness and love that only a mother can produce. That's Jen - a tender,
loving mother. I always find myself trying to imitate the "Mama Llama"
voice as I read to my girls now.

3. She's a bookworm. I love how much Jen reads! Sure, she maintains her
daily dose of blogs and People excerpts, but every time I am around her she
has a different novel in her hands or is talking about the latest
bestsellers.

********************************

Anyway....

There are more of you, but there's only so much time in the night, and we're only two hours into her birthday.

Post your love notes in the comments, please -- especially if you're one of those dreaded lurkers who suck the joy out of blogging without the nerve to say hello. You may as well just wish Jen well on Facebook. I don't get lurkers. They ruin everything. And everybody goes private and I can't read anything because I'm not on the special list, and then people get that uniquely American "culture of fear" thing going... ugh.

Anyway, leave a note.

Jen:

Lilly had this to say...

...and then a witch and princess olivia and the bears and princess leaia and darth vader and the bears up in the clouds and nana and bri and shann and chris and papa and disneyland and my cousins and minney and happy birthday, mommy!!!!

Cal said...

dadadadadadadadadadad (and then he did that thing where he motorboats his lips and spits out everything in his throat... and then he smiled that smile).

The photographer who got all famous on Oprah--the one who took our pictures in the rain--she sent Jen the pictures tonight and they're nice. Jen can post those later.

And all of you other friends, please, do post something to Jen. Don't go to Facebook for it.

(Jen, I really am troubling "deaf heaven with my bootless cries" during this time of year, but thank you for loving me in spite of the winter. It's as true as ever:

"...With what I most enjoy contented least;/ Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,/ Haply I think on thee, and then my state,/ Like to the lark at break of day arising/ From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;/ For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings/ That then I scorn to change my state with kings.")

Ryan