The rest of the story...

So, Lilly is almost three weeks old now. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. She keeps things going around here with her constant feedings and crazy schedule. I'm tired, but I've had a lot of help and so I realize that it could be much, much worse.

My last post left off with me freaking out on the operating table. Once I calmed down and got used to not being able to feel myself breathe or move my legs, Ryan and my mom came in and the Dr.'s got started. They started the surgery at 1:35 and Lilly was born at 1:44. The nine minutes in between are pretty much a blur for me, but I do remember Ryan being told to stand back from the curtain (he was getting a little too close) and I also remember smelling something funky (I later learned it was my fat burning as they cut through to my uterus--gross).

Once Lilly was out, no one cared about me. Ryan and my mom turned their backs to me and had all eyes on the baby. I tried asking what she looked like and if she was o.k., but no one heard me. After more than one failed attempt to get someones attention, I gave up and waited. I looked over as they were weighing her and caught blurry images of my new baby, but all of the blood was rushing to my head from the position they had me in while they were sewing me back up, so I was having trouble focusing.

I remember Dr.Graham congratulating us and then leaving the room. I remember the nurses moving my paralyzed body to a gurney and wheeling me to recovery. The surgery was over.

I spent the next two hours in the recovery room. Ryan and my mom were there and Ryan was holding Lilly. I wanted to hold her and get all up in her business, but I was in desperate need of morphine and it wasn't coming quick enough. Once my pain was under some control and I could wiggle my toes, I was moved to an actual room. I remember holding Lilly during all of this and I've seen the pictures of me holding her, but honestly, the entire first day was, and is still, a blurry mess. I only remember bits and pieces, but I do remember the high I felt about my new baby.

After all the visitors and family left me that first night, I was able to focus on Lilly and the fact that I was her mom. She hadn't opened her eyes all day, but as we laid there together her eyes began to flutter open and I got nervous. She was real. She IS real.

The rest of the week was a blur of sleepless nights and requests for pain medication. Lilly spent most nights on my chest...cozy, but it made me nervous that I'd fall asleep and I'd drop her. I didn't though and we had plenty of cuddle time. I really enjoyed the time Lilly and I had to bond while in the hospital, but we were glad to get home to our own bed.

It's been a crazy few weeks, but I've loved every second of it. She was blessed today and we have had a lot of family in town, so as soon as I get a second, I'll post some of those photos.

I also need to work on my blog design. It's time for a change.