One week later...

Lilly was one week old yesterday. The last week has gone by so incredibly fast--I can't believe how fast. It was, by far, the greatest week of my life thus far. All the cliches are true.

It's crazy how much I feel like I have a purpose now that Lilly is here. Life was so lame before last Monday. Waking up and knowing that my only job is to take care of my baby is a great feeling.

I feel like a dork for saying all these things because just last week I was explaining to Ryan and my mom that my motherly instincts hadn't kicked in yet...and what if they never did?

I think they've kicked in.

I'm in love with this baby.

Anyway, here's how the whole thing went down...

At my 39 week appointment on Thursday, the 22nd of March, Dr. Graham was concerned that Lilly was getting too big for me to deliver vaginally. He sent my in for a fancy ultrasound and called later that afternoon with the news that I would need to have a c-section. We scheduled it for the following Monday amongst tears and disappointment at the sacrifice of what I thought was the "right" way to have a baby.

My last weekend as a childless woman was pretty uneventful. My mom came down from Redding to spend the weekend with us and to help us get prepared. I rotated from the couch to my bed, and back to the couch. I was HUGE and feeling horrible. (Now that Lilly is here, I feel horrible for complaining about my pregnancy...she is worth every uncomfortable second.) I didn't feel like going anywhere and I had a lot of anxiety about what needed to be done before Monday morning.

Finally, Monday morning arrives. Lilly's big day. My big day. Ryan's big day. March 26th.

I slept until 9am. Ryan had gone into the office to get a few last minute things done. My mom was cleaning--so much cleaning in preparation for this little baby. I took a shower, put on a little lip gloss, finished packing my bag, and we headed out. My surgery was scheduled for 1:30pm, but I had to be there at 11:30am for prep.

When we got to the hospital they immediately started my I.V., took my blood, and hooked me up to all the monitors. After a little bit of paperwork, a lot of needle poking, and a ton of medical questions, we were ready to take the walk to the operating room. It was so surreal.

Ryan and my mom had to wait outside while they got me all ready. I freaked out a little when the spinal block started to kick in. It only took five seconds for my legs to start tingling and then I felt nothing. I didn't like that--not one bit. I panicked a little.

"I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"

(anesthesiologist) "Jennifer, you'll be ok. Take deep breaths."

"I DON'T LIKE THIS FEELING!"

"Breathe. Breathe."

"I'm o.k. I'm o.k. I'm o.k...Just hurry up"

Lilly's crying...to be continued...