Isn't That Pleasant

Summer 2011

2011-08-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

Whoa. It's been so long since I've posted that Blogger has done a major revamp of their website and now I can't figure anything out. Awesome.

Our summer has been divine. I'd do it over again if I could. Maybe next year? Lilly starts school on Monday--preschool--so, things will be getting back to normal for us.

My man on Tahoe. With our friends, Julia and Danny.

And all of the sudden, she's 15...

2011-05-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

I don't know when it happened, but Lilly has turned a corner. She is no longer a toddler--she is a total kid. Like knows all the words to Katy Perry's "Firework," and plays board games, and helps her brother down from the table kid. She has a great imagination and is always coming up with great make believe games for us to play. And last week, she tried a carrot. Her first vegetable since I was feeding her purees. That's a sure sign of being a big kid.

Don't call it a comeback...

2011-03-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

I can't promise I won't post this little tidbit and then not post again for two months. I'm just warning all my loyal readers...

Like most four year old little girls, Lilly is enthralled with ballerinas. She has been talking about ballet class for months now and I keep dragging my feet to get her signed up. Mostly because of budget constraints, but also because I have to wrangle her little brother while she's prancing around in her tutu for 45 minutes. But when I heard her little friend Macy was taking a class right down the street from us, I hightailed it right over to the Capezio store, got the girl some proper ballet gear AND the necessary tap shoes, and got her signed up.

Ok. The Capezio store. I mean, if you are going to be a ballerina, the Capezio store is where it's at. The real deal in there for sure.

She DID NOT sleep last night. I'm serious. She was so excited, she slept her pink leotard. She wanted to also sleep in her tights, but I put the brakes on that. She woke up more than once asking if it was time to go to ballet class yet. No, not at 2am, and not at 4am either. Good thing it was a 9am class...I'm not sure I would have made it through the day with her anticipation.

The whole scene was super cute. Just what it should have been. She was beaming the entire time and totally in her element. Her teacher, Miss April, is so great and obviously knows how to teach the little girls. I was so impressed and now I'm convinced that maybe, just maybe, Lilly has a chance at being a "real" ballerina. Maybe.

Right.

But it was still really cute and I'm excited to take her every week. I love that the class has a dress code--only ballet pink and black. And hair must be in a bun. So proper.

Ballet class. Check.

He turned 2 February 20th...

2011-02-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

My little boy turned 2 years old a few weeks ago. But, because I'm such a lazy blogger, I didn't get a chance to tell the blogging world what a perfect child he is. He really is a joy. He sleeps, he eats, and he loves his mama. What more can I want? He is going through a bit of a tough time regarding sharing, but I'm hoping it passes soon. Lilly is such a good big sister and usually just gives up and lets him have what he wants.

We spent his day doing the things he likes to do: eating pancakes, playing at the park, and playing with balls. We got him the Little Tikes basketball hoop--it was the perfect thing for him. He is slightly obsessed with all things round. His favorite thing to do at the gym is run straight to the basketball courts. He takes his little basketball in and jumps and runs and tries to throw it in the general direction of the basket. I could watch him do it all day--he's the cutest.

He loves to snuggle. He loves his blue blanket, but has now also started carrying his white blanket around too. He's a tickler. He likes to tickle his nose with his blanket and just the other day, I caught him tickling his feet with it. And sometimes he will come to me with not only his two blankets, but a handful of binkies too. More than once a day he will say, "C'mon," and direct me to the chair so we can cuddle for a bit. I'd do it all day long if I could.

He walks around the house all day saying, "Mama!" His animal sounds are awesome--I like it when he says, "meow" the best. Whenever he sees a skull and bones, he says, "ARRRGH." And, he has the best little run. He sort runs and skips at the same time. He gives the best kisses and puts his hands on my cheeks sometimes. And when he hugs, he puts his arms around my neck and squeezes.

He has a total sweet tooth. Unlike his sister, he is up for trying any and all sweets. He has his first dum-dum a few weeks ago and finished it in seconds! I guess I know what to use when he starts potty training.

I sorta wish he would stay like this forever.

Infirmary...

2011-02-15T22:15:00.001-08:00

I have bronchitis. I'm irritable and tired. It's been almost two weeks. I finally got some meds today.

Mine don't work, mine are broken.

2011-01-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

I haven't known today's date all day. I kept meaning to look at something that would tell me, but I forgot. I see it's the 27th. Ok. I'm 4 1/2 days into Ry's trip/our meeting in Orange County. Only 7 1/2 to go! I think I can do it.

Lilly's fever from Monday, the one I thought was no big deal after it went away, returned with a vengeance early this morning. It hovered around 103 all day, but she seemed better by bedtime. Somewhat better, I mean. I'm really hoping tonight goes well because I'm sick of my kids being sick. It's no fun for them, and it's no fun for me. I'm so tired of Scooby Doo. So very, very tired of it. Thank goodness the power went out for almost two hours this morning--saved me from a few episodes at least.

Anyway. It's pretty clear to me that our Tibetan prayer flags are duds. Things are pretty gloomy around here. A blackberry photo to document the actual flags hanging in our garage is below. Maybe I should go out and pull some threads and scatter them about. That's what they do on Everest. Only the threads aren't pulled. Instead, the flags start to fall apart and the remnants are then left to float and flutter about the mountain, spreading blessings to all. Maybe I need more faith.

10pm is the new midnight...

2011-01-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

I told myself an hour ago I'd be in bed by now. Alas, I'm not in bed. Instead, I'm sitting at my computer trying to figure out why I'm such a procrastinator. I can't even go to bed on time. I'm so sure. Heaven help my children.

It occurred to me earlier today that I forgot to mention I had a birthday last week. Ryan was out of town, but the kids and I partied till...well, at least until 7pm, when it was time to head to bed. I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast (Pillsbury--full of awesome preservatives!). AND! Lilly and I made pink cupcakes during Cal's nap. I lit my birthday candles and instructed Lilly to sing to me. She was way into it and so happy to oblige.

Since Ryan was going to be gone on my actual birthday, he arranged to take me to the city (that's what Northern Californians call San Francisco...so lame and pretentious of us, I know). We have a good friend here in Sacramento who can say, "I have a place in the city," and he graciously offered it to us. Yes. I took all that cash we would have spent staying at our favorite boutique hotel and quickly made my way to Lululemon with it. I've decided that I should only be spending money on workout wear--it's all I wear anyway. I'm such a suburban housewife. Gag.

(me in the city on my birthday celebration weekend)

But. I've figured out the perfect volume level in my car at which my kids can watch their shows and I can still hear my NPR shows. I might be suburban, but I'm informed!

And now I'm tired. I went to spin at 5:30 and got worked. It felt great, but darn it, losing weight is so much work. I really don't want to have to work so hard at it. Ok?

On the agenda for Thursday: preschool drop-off, 45 minutes cardio workout, check Ryan's work mail, maybe buy a gallon of paint, preschool pick-up, nap/quiet time, ?????, dinner, bath, bed.

If I were a train, I'd be a bullet train...

2011-01-23T22:35:00.000-08:00

I hope there are enough peanut M&M's in the greater Sacramento area to get me through the next few weeks.

Ryan left for a 12 day business trip yesterday. We already miss him. But I know he will miss us more--and really miss his own bed. And just like clockwork, Lilly started running a fever this afternoon. I could tell something was up when she wasn't interested in going outside after Caleb's nap. Hmmm. And then she went in her room and brought back a pair of pajamas. She said she wanted to go to bed. It was 5:25. I took her temperature and sure enough, she had a mild fever. Actually, if I can toot my own horn here, I though she might have a temperature when I went to fix the barrette in her hair. My hand grazed her forehead and she seemed just a bit too warm. I'm telling you, I'm getting good.

She was asleep by 5:30, I kid you not. Caleb and I had Cheerios for dinner and kicked it alone downstairs until it was his bedtime. Strange afternoon/evening. Things could get interesting in the middle of the night.

I'm on a new cocktail of anti-depressants, and for the first time since, oh, 2006, I'm starting to feel like myself again. It's slow going, but I can feel the changes. I've also started my hard core (the kind that make you want to puke) workouts up again. I'm a broken record in this department, I know, but I'm serious this time. For real.

I'm painting all my dark furniture white. I really am. I need to brighten this place up. Watch for it.

2011 up in here...

2011-01-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

It rained all New Year's weekend. Buckets. Ryan and Caleb could only take so much Wii, XBox, and Playstation--they needed a break. Ryan put Caleb in Lilly's raincoat and out they went. The kid was way into it. Stomping in the gutters, looking up at the sky, peeking into the drains. Lilly is scared of the rain. Hmmm.

We had a great December. My sisters both flew in, my brother was here, and my parents came down for Christmas day. And Ryan was home for more than 2 consecutive days! I love having him home. He says it's because he does everything (a lot), but I say it's because everything is more fun when he's around. It's true. But he's having some neck/back pain right now and that has put a damper on his mood lately. We are working on getting him better though. Like many others it seems, our new year started out sort of lame. Lilly and Caleb were both really sick the week after Christmas. High fevers, double ear infections and nasty, nasty chest colds. Lilly was in and out of it on the couch for three days--it was surreal. We got some antibiotics and all is well there. I went to bed at 7:30 last night feeling sort of weird. Woke up with a stomach thing, but it's gone. I'm hoping the Tibetan prayer flags I got Ryan for Christmas and that are now flying across our garage, will do the trick and keep my kids from getting anything having to do with barf and/or diarrhea.

2011. I don't know. I think it's a strange number. But, I'm hoping it will be a good year. I've made some mental notes of things I would like to work on over the next few month--not resolutions--those are lame. Rather, I'm going to stop talking about doing a few things I've been wanting to do and actually do them.

Like:

learn how to use my camera

cook dinner at least three days a week

cut down my soda intake

Push myself more in the physical fitness department

What? I've mentioned all of things time and time again on this blog? EXACTLY! That's what I'm talking about--stopping the procrastinating. I was just telling my friend Kathryn tonight that I keep sitting around waiting for my "real" life to begin and um...hello, I'm IN IT!

Ryan is in Iowa. What happens in Iowa? Seriously.

This is so worth the read...

2010-12-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-terzis/in-which-my-brother-finds_b_799733.html

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

2010-12-16T21:17:00.001-08:00

I should win some sort of award for my pitiful blogging habits lately. Once again, it has turned into a chore and when things start to feel like that, I tend to roll up into a ball and start rocking back and forth.

I hate chores.

But here I am. A Thursday night with lots and lots of laundry waiting to be folded. It'll still be there when I'm done here, I'm sure.

A few more from the marathon weekend: Lilly's face gives you some indication of how excited she was to have her cousins here.

Lilly had her preschool Christmas program last Friday night. It was so awesome. To say she was excited about it would be an understatement. She could not wait to get in there, suit up in her drummer girl outfit and belt it out. I was so proud of her! There were a few instances when she would get so into the hand motions that she would be the only one doing hand motions. Not sure what that was all about, but I still loved it.

She's now obsessed with Ryan's iPad. He generously leaves it at home most days and Lilly keeps a tight hold on it. A few days ago she was waiting for one of her games to open and when I asked her what she was doing, she said, "I'm waiting for my game, it's downloading." Not what I was expecting my three year old to say, but ok. I forget sometimes how different her life is going to be--a life where technology is so advanced.

Caleb is still awesome. He must know where is blanket is at all times and is usually running around the house making some sort of noise. He loves to climb and is really into turning his little chair over and climbing up and over it. He calls everything he loves, "Mama." His blanket, his binkies, Lilly, Ryan...it's so great.

Did I ever mention that I watched most of The Pacific with Ryan? I did. It was so messed up. But really, really entertaining. I highly recommend it. I haven't seen Band of Brothers, so maybe I'll watch that next. I'm also sort of getting into Bones. I don't know yet. I like the girl--Zooey Deschanel's sister. Oh! And we watched the most interesting documentary last weekend about Julius Shulman. He was the famed photographer behind all of the famous shots of the Modern homes in and around LA during the 60's. Ryan and I were drooling the entire time and wondering how and when we will be able to live in a ranch home. We don't need all the crazy modern furniture--just the open spaces and lots and lots of gigantic windows.

Support crew...

2010-12-06T20:23:00.000-08:00

Missy finished the marathon. As if there was any question that she wouldn't. I'm sure she'll post all the details of her race and the fun pictures of her crossing the finish line and the after photo with her adorable family.

We managed some pretty great support crew while managing to keep four kids from getting run over by runners and/or motorcycle police. We might have had a few close calls with Caleb and some runners, but overall, we kept everyone safe!

(Lilly getting her alone time with Missy post meltdown...)

(Around mile 17...)

(Trying to keep everyone wrangled at the finish...I look pretty...)

It was a great day. We all had so much fun cheering Missy on--the kids thought it was the greatest day ever! And they were pretty cute up at mile 17 or so when we had to have them walk the yellow line so we could keep everyone together. And then we saw Missy! We cheered! And clapped! And then we high tailed it to the finish line where we joined the crowd and the fabulous energy and welcomed the runners to the finish at the state capitol. We saw Missy just as she made the turn to the finish line and the kids I waved and yelled her name. I might have gotten a little emotional--she met her goal and I was so happy for her.

And then we went and had french toast. And took showers. And naps.

Lilly had about 27 meltdowns. The best one was after Missy finished the race and took a family photo with Dev and the girls. Lilly was upset she couldn't be in the photo--apparently she wasn't getting the Missy time she needed. She got her own photo with the runner and all was well.

Missy is amazing. You should have seen her.

Whoever invented the advent calendar did not have an impatient preschooler...

2010-12-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

The advent calendar might do me in. I know she's excited, but if you knew how many times she asked me if it was time to look under number 2, you would understand my plight. I've only got 22 days to go though and I can do anything for 22 days, right?

The upside is that the advent calendar came from Kellie Fullmer, one of our favorite people, and it's so genius. A mini cupcake tin--exactly 24 spots for little treats. Each spot is covered up with a little decorated piece of card stock that has tiny magnets on the back! So smart. Apparently they are all the rage in crafty blogger land. Shows you how crafty I am.

We are in the process of decking our halls. The tree is up and the lights strewn. I still need to get most (all) of the ornaments on. We did start to trim the tree, but after Caleb managed to shatter at least a dozen glass balls by thinking they really were balls, I gave up. Maybe not so many balls on the tree this year? It's been about five years since I've been able to trim the entire tree (so grabby hands can't get at it), so what's a few more?

Big weekend for Missy coming up! We are so excited to cheer her on and to play with the cousins.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T14:17:00.000-08:00

My brother has two golden retrievers--KC and Louie. This picture looks just like them.

Tick Tock...

2010-11-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

(found here)

If you aren't on Pininterest, you need to be. And fast. Well maybe not. It's addicting. Pages and pages of beautiful images. I've been collecting images for about a month now and the inspiring images just don't stop.

2010-11-18T16:02:00.000-08:00

The Internet has been excruciatingly slow lately. It's driving me nuts. And our home phone(s) won't keep a charge for longer than 20 minutes. How's a girl supposed to get anything done with issues like this?

I'm fighting a flu or something. I'm achy, tired, and now my throat hurts. I need to go to bed early tonight, I think.

I'm in the middle of doing like 48 loads of laundry. It feels like that many, at least. I hate having a house with stairs on laundry day.

Something good? Um...Robert Redford and Barbara Streisand were on Oprah a few days ago. My favorite movie of all time is The Way We Were, so I was hanging on every word they said.

I might apply for a graduate program and start taking classes one at at time. I'll be like 59 by the time I finish, but whatever, it'll get me out of the house one night a week.

Ryan's been gone all week. I miss him. It's supposed to storm here all weekend and Ryan will hate it because he gets depressed when it's gray outside. I guess we'll have to stay in and snuggle all weekend. Bummer.

CAL...

2010-11-16T20:50:00.001-08:00

Juice emailed me this photo today. I don't know who took it, but it's fantastic and captures so much of his little personality.

I want to gobble him up most of the days.

And, I taught him how to say "Gobble, gobble."

2010-11-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

I might have gotten a little crazy in iPhoto with my editing. The light was so harsh most of the day and so I never knew what settings to have my camera on. I should have just left it on Auto and been done with it. But I thought since I was out on a sail boat on the San Francisco Bay, I had get all fancy and act like I knew how to use my camera. Lesson learned.

You guys are nice. You know the only reason I posted that photo is because it was the one I liked best, right? Anyway. Sailing. Our friend Joaquin has been interested in learning how to sail and so on a whim, he and Ryan concocted an overnight excursion complete with arranging to have my sister fly in from Salt Lake to watch the kids. Ryan called Brianne at 6pm Utah time and she was at the airport an hour later. Love it. And love her for spending what I KNOW was an exhausting (but I'm sure somewhat fun) 36 hours caring for my children. Sisters are the best.

So, Joaquin arranged a driver for the weekend, and so we really were living the high life. The boat was amazing. Our skipper, Mike, was from London, so we got along great. The weather could not have been more perfect. We were out there all afternoon, so we got all kinds of different light and weather. My pictures are horrible...I couldn't tell how they looked out on the water. I've got to read a book about photography already. We left from Sausalito and sailed out UNDER the Golden Gate Bridge. How many people get to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge in their lifetime? Not many. But, I did. And then we headed over along the piers and around Alcatraz. By the time we were heading back into Sausalito, the wind had really picked up and we were truly sailing--like the boat moving fast and we were sideways. That's called heeling. I learned a few things out there on the water.

I wore stripes. And my Sperrys. I think my nautical outfit helped me steer better. In fact, I'm sure of it. I kept on my heading and didn't even come close to hitting any of the carriers passing.

After the boat, we headed to Casa Madrona to freshen up for our fancy shmancy dinner atMurray Circle at Cavallo Point. I wish I would have been brave enough to get my camera out during that dinner, but it wasn't really the place to be shooting photos of my meal, you know? We sat by the fire pit after dinner and stared across the bay at the beautiful city we are lucky to know so well. It really is an amazing place and every time we are down there, I can't imagine not being close enough to enjoy it on a whim.

One of my most favorite life experiences so far. Really.

(The beige building behind the boats was our hotel)

(And who would have known that my inaugural wearing of the Sperrys would have been on a SAIL BOAT--the very thing for which they were invented?!?!! I mean, I just got them because they were cute and looked perfect with all my striped shirts...)

(He's my skipper :) )

In doses...

2010-11-15T22:45:00.000-08:00

Sailing on the San Francisco Bay

I have to do these next couple of posts in steps. I think I've got all my photos in order, so tomorrow I'll work on the prose.

I love my life. I love my husband and my kids. I love my sisters and my brother and my parents. I love my best friend, Kelly. The last few weeks have been so, so much fun and I owe it all to Ryan--he's the best. We went sailing this past weekend. And stayed in a lovely boutique hotel in Sausalito. And ate at a Michelin rated restaurant. The weekend before that, I spent in Las Vegas with my bff. Both of these weekends came together just days before they happened...nothing had been on my calendar. Total surprises.

More to come...

Happy Halloween...

2010-11-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it through my first "real" Halloween. This is the first year that Lilly was really excited about it. That's an understatement, actually. She could not contain her excitement--she was ready to trick-or-treat weeks ago. Finally, she got her chance and I was SHOCKED at how fearless she was. It was such a contrast from last year. She was running from door to door, ringing and knocking and saying, "more" before she had a chance to leave the porch. I was so proud of her. It was so nice to have "that kid"--the one who just goes and does their thing. I'm so used to having her hang on my leg. Oh yeah, she was a purple butterfly. Purple wings, purple leggings, purple shirt, purple sparkly shoes.

Caleb refused to wear the caterpillar costume I constructed for him. I don't know why I tried--I should have known from past years with Lilly. I ended up tracing a coat of arms lion onto black felt and putting it on a red shirt. He had his sword. I called him a knight and it worked. It only took him one house to figure out what was going on and he knew just what to do after that. It was great fun.

I'm no photographer, obviously. But, this was the best I could do. The one of Lilly leading Caleb to the door is my favorite--I don't care if it's the world's blurriest photo. I guess I should learn how to take a proper picture.

Go Giants. We did it. And it feels so right. All those years of Giants baseball on in the background are finally validated.

2-0

2010-10-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

It's true--my family has always been die hard San Francisco Giants fans. The fact that we are up 2 games to 0 in the World Series is a very, very big deal. My grandma (she is gone now), was maybe the Giants' biggest fan. The baseball game was always on at her house and she was serious about it. One of my favorite memories of my grandma June (Lilly June Rauzon's namesake) was not too long before she started to get sick. We went to a Giants game down at AT&T park--it might have been her first time in that park, I can't remember. Anyway, she was a small woman--very petite. She was always "watching her figure" and eating like a bird. But as soon as she got into that park and saw all the different food items all around, she was into it! Every time someone around us would come back with something, she'd want to know what they had. I remember her saying, "Well, we better try those garlic fries." This was after a hot dog and peanuts. She was the best and I hope she is watching this series from her favorite recliner.

It's been a busy week around here. Ryan's been out of town all week and we've had preschool, play-dates, meltdowns, Halloween parties, more meltdowns, baseball games on tv, costume construction, dermatologist appointments, eye doctor appointments, etc. I'm thankful we went to the gym Halloween party--it was a good run through and a sure way to tell that Caleb will not be wearing the caterpillar costume I made for him. He wants nothing to do with it or the antennae. Lame. So now I have to reassess his costume options and put him in something that passes as a costume but is nothing more than normal clothing. Lilly, however, has been ready to trick-or-treat since last Monday. She asks me every day if it's time to start Halloween and every day, I have to tell her that it's still a few days away. Honestly, I'll be glad when October is over. I'm ready to put the spooky decor away and move on.

I saw The Social Network last weekend. If you haven't seen that movie because you think it's a dumb movie about Facebook, you are not cool. It's the best movie I've seen in a really, really long time. It is so fiercely entertaining and smart--I didn't want it to end.

Lilly watched an episode of Little Bear last week where Mother Bear tucks Little Bear into bed and says, "Don't let the bedbugs bite." She's been coming into my room every night since telling me she has bedbugs. Let me be clear that she is not afraid or having bad dreams about bedbugs. She is simply using the bedbugs as an excuse to get into my bed. Last night as she was having a fit from staying up too late and fighting bedtime, she started wailing about how she didn't want to sleep in her bed... "Ouch! They are getting me...the bedbugs are pulling my hair and biting my legs!" It was funny, but I was so over her tantrum by this point.

Caleb has seen Toy Story a few times and has figured out that the Buzz and Woody dolls go together. He carries them all over the house. I'm amazed at how fast he picked up on it. He's so funny lately--he has this really funny walk and when you ask him to be a monster, he puts his hands up by his face and growls. And when you ask him what a kitty says, he says, "Maw." I love it. We've been trying to use the video camera a lot because they do some pretty funny stuff and I want to remember it.

I'm going to Vegas next weekend with my best friend, Kelly. She is leaving her 41/2 month old twins for the first time. I love this woman so much--she's my soul mate. Well, her and Ryan. But Ryan loves her as much as I do, so it's ok. She lives in Calgary and so I don't get to see her much, but it's ok, because she gets me and I get her and neither of us are high maintenance friends. But when we are together, it's on. We are shopping and eating and sleeping, and then shopping some more. There are no Targets in Canada, so we'll be visiting every Target in the Las Vegas area. I can not wait. And, I'd like to thank my husband and Juice for making it happen for me.

Tomorrow is Friday. Ryan will be back from DC tomorrow night and we will have made it through the week! Disney on Ice and Game 3 on Saturday. Trick-or-treating on Sunday. It's going to be fun.

My kind of temptation...

2010-10-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

I NEVER pay full price for clothes. Except maybe jeans--those are hard to find on sale. I usually wait until Gap or J.Crew is having their additional % off sale sales.

But. I want this shirt. Badly. I'm not going to succumb to it's current ridiculous price tag. It's in my cart and I'm going to check on it everyday until it goes on sale and then it's mine. A boatneck, stripes, and sequins--it's perfection.

P is for Pumpkin...

2010-10-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

We went to our neighborhood pumpkin patch this past weekend. It was awesome. I have some more photos to post soon--as soon as I can pry Lilly off of pbskids.org and get a moment with my computer. Seriously, she's turned into some sort of child computer prodigy. It's unreal how fast she clicks away. I set up a bookmark folder for her with all of her favorite sites and she knows how to use it!

In the meantime, I'm at war with my washing machine. I hate things that don't work properly and it's NOT working. Sometimes it works though, but it's not working right. You know? Like maybe it's not actually washing. Sometimes it starts the spin cycle on it's own, sometimes it starts beeping uncontrollably and just quits--forcing me to turn it off and start the spin cycle manually. Annoying. And sometimes, it starts a cycle only to stop after 2 minutes and start flashing error codes. Ugh. The repair man came out last week and told me it needs a new motherboard. What?!!? A part that is $285. Of course. Anyway. I'm not sure how much longer I can manipulate it so that it will finish a cycle. We'll see.

So Awesome...

2010-10-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

It's still hot here...

2010-10-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

(Playing "Rock Star")

It was something like 92 degrees today.

But, it's supposed to start cooling off soon. Thank goodness. I don't mind the warm weather, but it makes it hard to start getting excited about Fall when you are sweating buckets and still dressing the kids in tank tops and shorts.

But.

The bit of Fall when it starts to get darker earlier? I could do without that. Tonight, I asked Ryan if 7:30 was too early to go to bed. I had just put the kids down and it occurred to me that I would like to be in my bed too. I'm not yet. But I will be soon.

We are officially out of the baby stage at our house. Lilly's new booster seat came and she gave Caleb the reigns to the Stokke chair. I had to make a few adjustments to it, but he's loving it. And, I'm loving the idea of having the highchair out of my kitchen! Wow--I can't believe I have a toddler and a preschooler. No more babies around here. Sad. Sort of. Sort of not. I don't know how I feel about it. I change my mind every other day. Sort of like how I change my mind about moving. Maybe we'll move one day, I don't know.

I spent $92 on night time diapers and cleaning supplies at Target yesterday. $92! I was in shock. I was so careful about only getting the things on my list. Diapers are killing me. Caleb has been soaking through his diapers at night and so I had to get a box of the "big guns." The good news is that Lilly isn't going through as many pull-ups as she used to. Still. Having to buy diapers is getting old.

Oh, and did I mention that my washing machine is dead again? Because it is. I just had someone here less than six months ago. And the stupid machine is only 4 years old. Less than that--more like 3 1/2 years old. Whirlpool can suck it. Seriously.

I'm tired. I've had three really good workouts in the last three days--that's my excuse for being so tired this week.

(He loves dress-up...this is what I found when I picked him up from the gym a few days ago)

Ryan says he hates Halloween...

2010-10-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

I don't hate it. But, it's not my favorite. I am, however, trying to get into the spirit a little bit more since Lilly is pretty excited about it all.

We hit up Michael's a few weeks ago and got to work. I still have one more thing to make and some pumpkins from the pumpkin patch to add, but at least there are a few things up. I haven't taken a photo of the mantle--I'll do that soon. And our black glitter skeleton still needs a home. It's a work in progress, I guess.

I've been really tired the last few days. I'm not sure if it's my new medication or what. It could be that Lilly has been coming into my room two or three times a night this past week. I'm trying to put her back to bed, but if she protests, I just stick her in bed with me and then I don't sleep very well. So, it might be that. I'm going to see how it goes this week and then reassess.

Lilly is killing me with her Halloween costume options. It changes everyday. I'm trying to get her to narrow it down to at least two--then I have a back-up in case she throws a fit the night of. If you have asked her what she wants to be for Halloween in the last week, you might have gotten one of these:

Daphne from Scooby Doo (ugh. Sewing involved)

A cat (my preference--easy and cheap)

Cinderella (not an option--Santa is bringing that outfit)

Belle

I haven't narrowed down Caleb's costume yet. Ryan wants him to be a wizard. If Lilly is Daphne, then I want him to be Shaggy. But, who knows. Stressful, this Halloween costume stuff.

Bullets...

2010-10-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

(We were waiting for Caleb to wake up from his nap...)

This will be fast because I stayed up way too late watching dvr'd episodes of Oprah. And OMG, what will become of this world when Oprah's show is over? I'm depressed just thinking about it. I know there are bigger issues in our world, but right now, the hour of pleasure I get from her show is a big deal in my world. Her interview with J.K. Rowling was such good TV.

Anyway...I got sidetracked from my bullet points.

*The kids and I stayed at Missy's house ALL last weekend and it was awesome. I owe her big time.

*Lilly has been waking up (for the day!) between 5:00 and 5:30am for weeks now. I'm dying.

*The neighbors to our left have really been driving me crazy with the noise levels lately. I think I might need to pay them a visit.

*Caleb is talking up a storm. It's the best.

*I've been channeling my inner Martha and producing some top quality Halloween decorations. I'm quite proud. I'll post some photos soon!

Enough. I have to get some sleep. She'll be up in mere hours.

Long day...

2010-09-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

(Four hours in...I didn't leave Lilly like this, fyi.)

Caleb had been throwing up every few hours for a few days, so called the doctor yesterday morning.

We picked Lilly up from preschool--her first day of no crying at drop off. She usually starts whining about not wanting to go from the second we pull in to the parking lot, and then she stands outside the door until I pick her up and take her to Miss Ruthie for the hand off. She does fine once I leave, but drop off has been a nightmare.

Until yesterday.

She walked right in, washed her hands, walked out to the playground, found Miss Carmen who was taking temperatures, and then headed over to play with Sophia. I was shocked. Miss Carmen, Miss Patricia, and Miss Ruthie were shocked...and then they told me to run for it!

We went to the pediatrician's office straight from preschool. Where we stayed for the next six hours. Caleb was such a trooper. He had blood drawn, was poked on the finger for a diabetes test, had a tube put up his peep to try and get some urine--all for not, he was dry. Finally, they put a catheter in him and sent us to the drugstore to pick up the anti-vomit meds. We were at the pharmacy for over an hour. Lilly was starting to lose it about now, so after she tried to play dress-up with some Dr. Scholl's shoe things (which I ended up having to pay for), I took them out the car to watch a movie and wait for our drugs.

They were both alseep in two seconds. I called Mindy to see if she could come get Lilly on her way home from work. We had been at it for over four hours by this time. Mindy came! Thank goodness for friends! Caleb and went back in for more blood work to have his urine bag checked. Still no urine. I had been forcing pedialyte down him since our stay at Rite-Aid. It was one of those trips where I pretended Rite-Aid was my kitchen--I just went around the store collecting whatever I needed, prepared Caleb's drink, and then went and presented the cashier with all the wrappers of the opened products I had collected.

Around 6pm, they sent us home with instructions for collecting the urine sample. Of course, as soon as he got home, he had a major blowout and I got to dig his urine sample bag out of that. Fun.

Overall, it wasn't the worst day. Caleb was so sweet and all he wanted to do was have me hold him and put his head on my shoulder. Ryan said that every time he went in to check on him last night, he would say, "Mama." And Lilly! She was so good...right up until she couldn't take it anymore. I'm so proud of her.

Ryan landed at 7pm last night--just in time. We are taking it easy today...Caleb is asleep and Ryan has Lilly out on an errand.

Like Lilly said this morning, "We are a family again."

Feast or famine...

2010-09-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

(Selfie)

I got hit with a nasty cold when I got home from Chicago last week. I barely made it to Friday and since Ryan is on a business trip, my mom took my kids--again. I would be lost without my parents--they are the best. I stayed in bed most of Saturday--something I haven't done in a really long time. Maybe since I was a teenager? At the end of the day, my bedroom was a disaster. Dishes, magazines, messy bed, blinds closed, tissues strewn about. I woke up yesterday feeling much better and cleaned my house from top to bottom.

I met my parents for the kid switch and had them in their beds by 9:30pm.

Caleb woke up an hour later. Covered in vomit.

Sigh.

And so it went all night, every two hours. I felt so bad for him. He could barely hold his head up by the third round of sickness. And I was running out of stand-in blankies for him. I think throw-up is one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. The first thing I thought of when I stepped into his room and smelled the evidence before I turned on the light, was my newly cleaned house. Figures.

He's asleep now--he's running a fever and generally uncomfortable, I think. He just wants to sit and have me hold him. I love him so much and hate that he's sick. I wish I could lounge in bed with him all day. Lilly is NOT sick and so she wants to do more than lounge. She's very concerned with Caleb though and keeps asking how "her little boy" is doing. So cute.

It really is feast or famine around here. Some days, we've got nothing. Other days, there is puke, loads and loads of laundry, grocery shopping needing to be done, insurance companies to call. My goal today is to make sure Caleb is loved. Lilly too!

I think I smell throw-up on me somewhere...

I still need to write about all the fun things Ryan and I did in Chicago.

It's so hot here. Like 100 degrees hot. What?!? I'm over it.

Chicago...

2010-09-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

I was in Chicago this past weekend. Ryan had Friday and Monday meetings, so I decided to go hang out with him. It was fun. Reminded me of our honeymoon in New York City. That was a good time too. I really love hanging out with my husband sans kids. Does that sound bad? You know what I mean--I love my kids--it's just really nice to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Spontaneity--I miss it.

I'm back now and will add some commentary and some lovely iPhone photos when I get over the cold I picked up.

Kick me when I'm down...

2010-09-12T22:21:00.001-07:00

Hmmm. I don't even know where to start.

How about when I decided to wean myself off of my antidepressant. It turns out I'm that woman/mother/wife after all--the one who needs to be medicated. I tried the alternative--not being medicated--and it's not working for me. Without going into too much detail, I've had a tough couple of weeks.

And then yesterday happened.

-My car was towed. It cost me $320 to get it back. All because I was trying to save $10 in parking. Lesson learned.

-Lilly was playing with my wedding band and just as she handed it to Ryan, he sneezed and it went down the side of the sofa. The sofa totally ate it. I'm not kidding. We COULD NOT see it, get it, find it. It was gone. After flipping the sofa over a few times, trying to get into nooks and crannies that were accessible, it was pretty obvious that my ring was not coming out without someone taking my sofa apart.

Sigh.

The guys came, they (very carefully, but still) sliced open the underside of my (fairly new and leather) sofa. They left to get more tools. They came back. They got my ring.

And then Ryan wrote them a check.

I had a very expensive weekend. And just when I was starting to really make some headway on my new monthly budget. Needless to say, I was a disaster yesterday.

Alas!

I've finished my dresser and it is now in its new home in my bedroom. I can't seem to get a good photo of it. I didn't take any "after" photos while it was outside, so it looks a little orange. I can't wait until everything I put downstairs no longer casts an orange glow. One day soon, I hope. Anyway...I lined the larger drawers in blue/gray striped paper and the smaller drawers I lined in this awesome paper that has tiny Eiffel Towers printed all over it. The dresser itself is painted a very light gray. For my first major furniture project, I'm pretty proud of it. It took me forever because I wanted it to look perfect. It's not perfect, but it's pretty close.

Next on my project list is painting my bedside table white and finishing my gallery wall--the one I started about a year ago. AND! Don't forget about my little upholstery project. I'm going to work on getting that on the books soon. Missy just posted about her plans to make her first quilt. Maybe I should do one with her. My mom is a major quilter, by the way. And some of the new designer fabric is awesome. I do have some here to put a few pillows together for Fall. See, now my wheels are turning and I'll dream about fabric instead of getting the rest I need to start the week.

And did I mention how Caleb has to have dress-up on whenever Lilly does? Ah, yes. Today it was the tutu.

Labor Daying...

2010-09-07T19:36:00.001-07:00

We went up to Redding for the holiday weekend. Well, half of it at least. Our main purpose was to head on up to Whiskeytown Lake. I have many, many fun memories of days at the lake. When we were young, my parents would take us to Brandy Creek, and the occasional ward activity was held there too. and when we were in high school, we'd hike down from the side of road to more secluded spots and spend hours floating on our rafts and (probably) gossiping about all there is to gossip about when you are 17 years old. Good times.

I wanted to take the kids to Brandy Creek--the beach is perfect for their age and swimming abilities. We took a picnic and had the perfect afternoon. I can't wait to take them back next summer when they'll play all day and not get grumpy for a nap.

Ryan and Shannon stroked it out to the dock--it's a different, newer dock from when I was growing up, but still.

Such a Redding thing to do, this was.

Just as we were leaving for the day, Ranger Bobby waded in for his water safety class.

Reflection...

2010-08-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

Floaty kisses

Me: Who wants to go home and have Mac n' Cheese? Cal: I do!

On the eve of the last day of August, I'm sitting here wondering where the last three months went? Hello? June, July and August, where did you go? It is September 1st tomorrow! I'm so sure. As much as I love Fall, and I REALLY love Fall, it feels too soon, too fast. Hmmm...I think I'm getting old. It used to be that only old people said how fast time goes. I'm now one of those people. Time isn't so abstract anymore...I can feel it these days. Sigh.

Remember when I said that the next time Ryan went to Chicago I would go too? Well, that didn't work out because he's there and I'm not. Dare I say, maybe next time? Maybe? Please let it happen.

The issues I had last week (read: pests), are all but gone. There is a rat trap in my garage, but we'll just pretend it's not there. Except I have to glance at it as I'm pulling my car into the garage. And when I pull out of the garage. That's lame. I'd rather not be able to see it, but I'm too chicken to touch the empty trap, so it stays where it is. The good news is that my shower is as good as new. Hip, hip, hooray! If you've never heard of bio cleaners, go research them. I can't believe how well it cleaned my shower door tracks and my drains. I also put it in my garbage cans and I swear you could eat off of them now (still, gross). And, it smells like oranges. And, it's a green product. Anyway, I'm tired of talking about it, so I'm moving on.

I'm almost done with my dresser makeover. I just need to finish cleaning the hardware and line the drawers with some pretty paper. I wasn't going to line the drawers, but I think it will help it feel more polished. It's taken me forever to finish because I can't do any of it when the kids are around--they want to "help." So, it's been a few nights here and there and now that it's getting darker earlier, I have to fit in a bit when Ryan has them at the pool. But, it's so close to being done and I'm really happy with the way it turned out. I wish Emily Henderson could come to my house and help me style it (along with my entire house). I love her and I'm so impressed by her talent. HGTV has finally gotten smart and decided to cater to the Domino (RIP) obsessed peeps out there.

I took the kids to DI today. My kids have a lot of fun at thrift stores--Lilly says we are going to the treasure hunt store. We found a few treasures and I found a new project--just a little one. As soon as I get the dresser done, I'll start the next project. And then I'll focus on saving some money for new bedding, paint, and the daunting floor project. Wood! I'm doing wood. I know what kind of wood I need and I know what I want, so now I just have to find it for the best price. Fun. Not really. Owning a home is hard work.

Lilly has had some issues with the potty since she started school. She won't go on the potty at school, so she holds it until she gets home. She had an accident last week and STILL won't sit on the potty at school. AND, she refuses to sit on any of the "big" potties here at home and will only sit on her little, yellow potty. I knew that stupid little potty would come back to haunt me. I forgot to put a pull-up on her one night over the weekend and she woke up at 2am in her own pee. That was fun. And she's had a few accidents here at home because she's upstairs and refuses to sit on a big potty and her little potty is too far--she's gotta go. I'm trying not to get frustrated with her, but it feels like she's taken 10 steps back! She's doing the potty dance everywhere we go and refusing to sit on strange potties. In Miss Ruthie's words, "All we can do is keep trying."

Caleb has mastered floaties in the pool. It's crazy to see his little body just swimming around. He just gets right in and swims away--all 22 pounds of him! I have photos and video to prove it. He also does this funny thing when you ask a question like, "Who wants to go to the pool?" He raises his hand and says, "I do." It's so cute I could spit. We have a lot of photos from the pool, don't we? That's because we are there almost every day. Tough life we live, huh?

Behind the scenes...

2010-08-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

I love Man Shops Globe. It's a really fun behind the scenes of how Anthropologie is able to stock their stores will all that cool stuff. And, where some of the unique store fixtures originate.

I told Ryan it makes me want to shop at Anthropologie even more now that I know how and where the products are coming from.

He rolled his eyes.

Still, it's a fun show and it will make you want Keith's job.

Critters...and Caleb...

2010-08-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

(He sees an airplane..)

Well, I've got the shower door/drain fly issue 99% resolved. I found maybe the greatest shower door man EVER. His name is Julio and if you need anything done with your shower doors (any kind of door, actually), he is your guy. I wish he could be my handyman, but he lives too far away and really only does doors. Still, he's awesome.

So, that problem is taken care of.

Just in time to find the mouse droppings, the hole/nibbling at the drywall, and maggots in my garage. Something is going on out there and I'm NOT dealing with it. The pest man is. I don't care how much they charge me. I'm so completely over it.

I want to bathe in bleach and power wash my entire house with hot water and even more bleach.

I feel bad mentioning Caleb in this post...he's the total opposite of maggots. He's the perfect child, really. He had his 18 month check-up this morning and I'm happy to report he has made the charts! Not that the charts really matter, but still. He's 13% for weight and 26% for height. He's totally catching up. He still sleeps 12-13 hours every night and takes a great afternoon nap. I love him. He's starting to say more words, and he follows direction really well. It's funny to me that he can't talk to me, but he can do what I ask him to do. Crazy.

He loves to give kisses and he loves to play with Lilly. They are in an interesting stage. She likes to play rough with him sometimes, but he doesn't do well when she smothers him. He knows how to hit and he'll pull her hair. Uh-oh. He's pretty much on the defensive all day long...poor guy.

He loves oatmeal, pears, grapes, pirate booty, fruit snacks, and anything that I might be eating. Last night, he ate some of my mom's Panda Express chicken. Lilly was never interested in what other people were eating, so this is new to me. He's a little bit of a food moocher--it's funny.

He loves his blue blanket and his binkies when he's in his crib. I usually have to go in and check on him in the morning and after naps because he loves to snuggle his blanket when he gets up and will do it forever.

He loves trucks, motorcycles, airplanes, trains--anything that makes noise, really. He LOVES balls. And Mickey too. And he loves books. He'll sit and look through them and follow me around with them until I sit down and then he plants himself in my lap and waits for me to start reading. It's awesome.

And yesterday, Lilly asked if Caleb could put on the Tinkerbell dress-up. We got busy doing something else, but I suspect we will be revisiting that request.

I love having a little boy.

I wish they were fruit flies...

2010-08-23T22:27:00.001-07:00

I don't even know where to start.

We have a serious problem in our master shower.

Drain flies.

So, so, so gross.

I'll give you the abbreviated version: This condo is only 3 1/2 years old. In other words, it's new. And, the bathrooms are cleaned once a week. We are not dirty. BUT, we apparently have a moisture issue in our windowless master bathroom. According to the evidence, and a half-hour chat with our local pest control man, "Our problem isn't really a problem...I've seen much, much worse."

Um...I disagree. It's a problem that tiny moths are coming out of my shower drain AND, that tiny moth larvae are making themselves known (and seen). Oh, it's a problem alright.

Anyway. Pest man told me to buy some fancy, dancy commercial grade enzyme cleaner. It will clean the "bio matter" that the larvae breed in. They are breeding in my very expensive shampoo/conditioner leftovers. Isn't that so perfectly ironic.

Are you dying right now? Yes, something is breeding in my shower. I'm dying too.

It gets better.

Once I clean the drain out, I have to DISassemble the hinged shower door and tracks to make sure I clean out the muck there too. The door tracks are where I noticed the larvae.

I have to do this myself. Who do I call to DISassemble a shower door? I don't know.

I'm sick.

I'm also really mad. Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening in my practically brand new home? I'll tell you why...because my home is basically a larger version of a project Lilly could do at preschool. Yes, it is. A $300,000 home made from Popsicle sticks and Modge- Podge. I'm not even kidding. I'm calling the home builder tomorrow and giving them a piece of my mind. It will make me feel better.

In other news, I did see John Mayer in concert this past weekend. What a hot mess he is, right? He is an amazing guitarist...I will give him that.

School Days...

2010-08-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Lilly had her first day of preschool today. I had a friend come and kick it with Caleb so I could take Lilly without the distraction of her little brother And, I didn't want her to get sad when it was time for me to leave with Cal. She was so cute...I could tell she was nervous to go, but she kept going through the motions (putting on shoes, getting in car, getting out of car...) without any major tantrums, so I knew she wanted to go. She does this fake whiny thing sometimes and she did it in the car on our way there, but she never flat out refused to go.

Blanket had to go though. Of course it did. I put blanket in her cubby as soon as she was distracted by something else. She had it in her hand when I picked up her up though, so she must have asked for it. I'm thinking I'll make sure it stays at home on Thursday.

She has a cubby and a coat hook. As soon as she said the word "cubby," I lost it. I don't know what it was about my little girl talking about her cubby, but it got me. We were washing her hands and she was telling me she was going to put her blanket in her cubby and I couldn't believe she was old enough to have her own cubby in a little classroom. I'm so dumb.

She had a minor meltdown when she had to share the play dough with another little girl, but Miss Ruthie came over and talked her through it. She started to cry the saddest cry, but she didn't get up and come running over to me, so I knew she would be ok. Miss Ruthie is very kind and so, so good with the kids.

I only stayed for 10 minutes--I really didn't want to hover. I cried the entire way home. This stage--the one where both of my kids are home with me all day, is over. Someone else in charge of keeping her safe and happy for a few hours. I know I'm totally making the biggest deal, but it's serious. She is growing up.

I could hear her laughing before I opened the door to pick her up. She was running around the circle carpet with her friend, Natalie. She was quick to show me the boo boo she got on her knee while she was on the playground, and then she showed me her craft project.

I'm so proud of her. And I'm a little bit proud of me too.

(Checking out the playground with Natalie)

I should also mention that today marks the finality of the Great Preschool Search. I spent hours researching, visiting, and thinking about preschools and what the best situation would be for Lilly and our family. There were "cuter" preschools, and there were places that were less expensive, but in the end, I felt Peace Lutheran would be the right fit for Lilly. And for me. It's nearby, she has a friend, and it's the right price. Oh, and there was NO waiting list. My preschool options for Lilly were slashed when I didn't have her put on a waiting list the day she was born. Caleb is on a few waiting lists around town...just so I have a few options in TWO years.

And, I have kindergarten registration on my calendar--January 2012. I'm going to be one of those annoying mothers who knows everything about the elementary schools/teachers in town. I'm already heading towards having to get an Inter-district permit. If I get that, I have to apply for open enrollment, and then it's a lottery. It's not like the days when I was in school and you just went to your neighborhood school. Bummer. But these kids of mine are going to college, and it that means I have to move mountains to get them into the right kindergarten class, I will. Watch out for me come kindergarten registration--2012.

2010-08-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday. The kids and I are on the home stretch into the weekend and Ryan's return! Did I mention he was also in Chicago this week? I love that city so much. Next time, I'm going with him.

We've had a good week. I got some cleaning done, we had a few play dates, spent a lot of time outside in our, dare I say, Fall-like weather. It's supposed to warm up again over the next few days, but you can definitely feel Fall in the air. The sunlight feels less bright, more saturated. The middle school across the street started this morning, and the gym is eerily quiet in the mornings without the day camp kids running all around. I love this time of year, but I'm always a little bit sad that the school year is starting without me being a part of it. Maybe next year.

Lilly starts preschool on Tuesday. What?!!? When did she get so old? As I type this she is strutting around in my leopard print stilettos. She calls them the "kitty shoes." Sometimes I stare at her and can't believe how much of a person she is. Weird. I wish she wasn't so obsessed with Scooby Doo though--I'm over it and Caleb would rather watch Mickey.

I spent two hours cleaning my kitchen yesterday afternoon. This morning, when I was already running late to get out of the house, I dropped an unopened bottle of salsa on my newly mopped floor. I cursed. Do these things only happen to me? I think so sometimes. Not two seconds later, I spilled pear juice all down my shirt. I don't get dressed in normal clothes very often, so this was especially annoying.

I'm reading Anthropology of an American Girl. It's great.

Somewhere to start...

2010-08-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

This is my inspiration for Caleb's room/the guest room. I love everything about it. The colors, the simplicity, the craftiness. It screams boy, but not really.

I might try to do it myself, the etsy seller's version is much, much too small for my liking.

2010-08-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

My friend, Liz, has the most perfect quote posted in her kitchen:

"Be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life."

Omar Khayyam, a Persian philosopher said it. I don't know anything about Omar's life, but he seemed to know a lot about mine. Or at least what it feels like to be a stay at home mom. This is not a post about how hard my life is. It isn't hard. It's awesome. What it can be is monotonous. And maybe a little bit frustrating. Actually, it's a lot of things...a lot of different adjectives can describe my day at any given moment. But, for the most part, it's awesome.

Anyway. The point of my post is to remind myself that I have chosen this life. How I spend my days, and the fact that I spend them at home with my children, is MY CHOICE. No one has tied me down and forced me to stay home with my kids everyday. I often (like all day, everyday) forget how lucky I am to have a choice. Most mothers do not.

It's hard to describe how lucky I feel to stay at home with my kids, but then wish I could go to work every now and then. Does that make sense? Probably not.

We had a very nice weekend. Ryan and I did indeed celebrate our anniversary by cleaning toilets. And the garage. And we washed the cars. So romantic. But, things I really appreciated his help with and that's what being married is all about, right?

Ryan was in DC all last week. This week it's more DC and a little NYC. Am I a little bit jealous? Yes. Would he rather be here with us than making sure his boss doesn't flub up an ABC interview? Yes. Either way, we both have jobs to do.

Missy took this picture of Ryan jumping into the pool last weekend. He was trying to clear the pole, but I think Juice pulled it at the last minute. That was a good moment.

6 years

2010-08-07T06:47:00.001-07:00

P to the R to the O to the jects...

2010-08-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

I've got some big projects in the works over here.

Big ones.

I found the dresser at the Discovery Shop (Cancer Society thrift store) next to our fancy baby/kid store. I couldn't pass it up. I'm planning on painting it a very pale gray. I haven't decided if I want to change the hardware, I really sorta like the original stuff. Pondering.

I also found a small, 60's puke yellow, upholstered club chair. It was $17. I'm planning on using it in my...wait for it...UPHOLSTERY LESSON/CLASS! I'm so excited to take this project on. I've always wanted to reupholster something. I'm hoping I can fit the lesson into the September budget. And then I'm hoping I can become a master upholsterer one day. It could happen.

And Paint. I'm still in the very beginning stages of this process (only three colors on the wall so far, but more coming soon). I think I'm leaning more gray with green undertones now. I think the gray-blue will be too blue in my small space. This is a work in progress, but I'm enjoying the process actually and don't feel the need to decide right away.

We are still deciding what to do about our floors. I don't know. Technically, we can't really afford to do anything right now. But, I die a little bit inside every time I walk in the door and see my gross carpet. Something must be done soon...I just don't know what.

Family fun...

2010-08-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

We are back from our first road trip (with the kids) to Orange County. Total success. The kids did awesome in the car--Caleb decided he wanted to kick it with Ryan and I for the first two hours of our drive south--a drive we didn't start until 8pm. So, we was chit-chatting away until close to 10:30. Lilly was out as soon as the car started. With the exception of Lilly's overdose of Pirate's Booty (minor barfing episode), we made it home in one piece. I'd totally do it again. It was so nice to have my car and to be on our own schedule.

As always, we had a fabulous time with Ryan's family. Lilly is obsessed with her cousins. Period. It makes me wish we lived closer every time I see her with them. We (moms) took the kids to the beach/harbor one day and it was so easy! Well, relatively easy. Easy enough that we (moms) enjoyed ourselves!

Dylan turned four! We had a BBQ! We had a musical parade around the pool!

So. Much. Fun.

(No, you can't have him.)

(I was busy in the other room and I heard her singing so I got some video...so awesome)

(Avery is a total swimmer/jumper)

(Hanging with the girls)

California goes country...

2010-07-26T14:44:00.001-07:00

We went to the California State Fair on Friday night. Our yearly fair-going tradition started way back when. We went for the first time a few weeks after Ryan and I got married. We've been every year since. We still go with "our people" from those days--Dan, Aveena, and Kellie. It wouldn't be the same without them. And sadly, with how busy everyone has gotten, it's become one of maybe two times we all see each other in a year.

We've got it down to a science. We meet at the motocross exhibit, head down past the lemonade stand, stop at the BBQ pit for some corn and tri-trip, check out the animals, play in the corn, ride the carousel, and then round out the loop with food on sticks and Kellie and Ryan's favorite ride--the one that goes upside down and all around. Admittedly, we do miss a lot of other cool fair attractions, but we've got our favorites covered, at least.

The kids had a lot of fun this year. Lilly threw a major fit when we were leaving, so that was evidence that she had a good time. Cal was smiles and finger-pointing and uh'ing at everything, so it seems he was into it too.

I was doing great until I had a few too many bites of the cinnamon roll.

Right after our yearly photo booth shoot. We can't have anymore kids--we won't fit.

I love how Caleb is eyeing the cinnamon roll...

She was determined to get the goat to cooperate. Things got a little dicey right after I snapped this...

Fitting right in with the fair couture...

Peggy and Joan are my favorites...

2010-07-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Unless you've been living under a really big rock for the last year or so, you'd know that the season premier of Mad Men airs Sunday night. I know I've said that Friday Night Lights is the best show on tv...I forgot about Mad Men. It's really a tie between the two. For me. I don't know about you. You might be into So You Think You Can Dance. Which is fine. It's just not what I'm into.

In honor of Mad Men, I've posted a picture of my grandparents--my mom's parents. They are no longer alive, but weren't they classy looking? I think so. They have an interesting story--an American GI goes to London during WWII, meets a British girl, marries British girl and takes her back to US--DC area to be exact, all kinds of crazy drama ensues over the next 20 years. My mom needs to write a book, really.

I spent some time on the AMC website and was made over--Mad Men style. Try it.

That's me in the green. I tried a lot of different looks, but I think, at the end of the day (a 1963 day), this is what I'd go with. I wish I had Joan's waist, but it wasn't an option.

Shaggy?

2010-07-20T22:47:00.001-07:00

My hair is getting really long. And consequently, I'm worried that it could be too long--too shaggy. I hardly ever have it down, so it's hard to tell just how long it is, but trust me, it's long. The longest it's ever been IN MY WHOLE LIFE. Really, I've never had hair this long. At this point, it's turned into a game and now I want to see just how long I can get it. Maybe FLDS long? No, that's gross.

Remember when I had bangs? They were fun. For a few months. Then it got hot and I couldn't stand the feeling of having something touching my forehead all day long. My drawers are stocked with bobby pins again and it feels good, familiar, safe.

I'm getting ready to rip up the carpet downstairs. We will probably be living on nothing but a concrete slab for a few months, but I figure it can't be worse than what we have now. Can it? I'm obsessing over white floors lately. I really, really want white floors. Now, most people get white floors by painting over beat up (or just fine) wood floors. I don't have wood floors, and so my only way to white floors would be to paint my concrete slab. Which I'm seriously considering. Glossy white. And come to think of it, I'd much prefer the smooth look of the painted concrete to the "Shabby Chic" of the painted wood. It will take a Herculean effort, but I think I can do it. If I managed to pull it off, the feel of my house would drastically change. For the better, I think. Let me show you...(I'm too lazy to post credits now, but I will...)

This floor is not white, but I'm obsessed...

The boardwalk...

2010-07-18T19:40:00.001-07:00

The boardwalk is a hot mess. But, it's a fun place to hang out for an hour or two after a long day at the beach. And, when you are in the mood for anything from ice cream to french fries.

Some of our favorite boardwalk treats are:

Kohr's Frozen Custard
Thrasher French Fries
Grotto Pizza
Nicola Pizza (for famous Nic-o-boli's)

But, more important than treats, is the horse racing at Fun Land. We pretty much dominate every year. We are that good. Inevitably, after we've been there for a few races, we get loud and attract a crowd. It's not unlike how things end up everywhere we go, actually.

Cal walks...

2010-07-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

I was starting to wonder if he'd ever start walking.

But one day, about halfway through our vacation, he decided he wanted to walk from the sofa to the coffee table. And so he did it. And then he did it over and over and over again. All. Night. Long. It was so funny to watch. He could only start from the sofa though, so he would crawl back to the left sofa cushion each time and then he would start his short trek to the coffee table. The next day, he ventured a little further out from the coffee table, but still from his same starting position. By the end of the trip, he was walking all over the place.

He's no longer my baby. He looks so grown up when he's upright! And his new blue Crocs and Vans are killing me with cuteness. And his tan! I love him so much...

The infamous "starting point."

He took a few breaks in the early days of walking...

4th of July

2010-07-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Ok. I'm going to post about our trip in themes. For instance, this first post will be all 4th of July. I'm hoping to have a few posts--one about Cal's walking, a general boardwalk post, and maybe a beach post or two. That's the plan.

By the 4th of July, we had already been at the beach house for a week. Like the seven (awesome) days before it, we spent it on the beach. But first, we headed down to Rehoboth to cheer Juice on in the swim/run biathlon. It was fun to have someone out there to cheer on and he did a great job racing against all those young lifeguards.

Later, he headed back down the beach to Cullen Ave. (our beach street entrance) and spent the day on the beach. After naps, showers, and dinner, we headed back down for the fireworks. It was pretty cool to watch them on the sand. And it was fun to walk down Cullen while all the families were coming out of their houses to head down too. When you set-up beach camp in the same general area everyday, you get to know and recognize people. We meet families from New York, New Jersey, and Florida this year. One of the little boys that Caleb befriended was named Bolton, but Lilly kept calling him Bullseye. And she wasn't trying to be funny. It was awesome. We also spent a few hours listening to some pretty intense conversation between a dude and his grandparents. Dude was 19 years old and missing a few marbles. But, he has been with Haley since he was 14 and if he didn't have her, he would commit suicide. Whenever we saw dude after that, we called him Suicide. We learned a lot about Suicide over the course of his beach vacay, mostly because he yelled everything he said. He lost his job because the company went bankrupt, NOT because he was fired. And he was the assistant manager, ok? Grandma and Grandpa DON'T like Haley and they really want Suicide to get an apartment. We learned much, much more about him, but you get the idea.

Fireworks were cool. We weren't up at Rehoboth where they were setting them off, so we weren't right under them, but it was still cool to be out there with so many people. The kids were asleep in their stroller/backpack before we got to the end of the street.

Rehoboth Beach, DE

The start line at the biathlon...

Race buoy.

Juice! (hot speedo)

I love this photo. You can barely make out how excited he is and how he's clutching his blankie.

Afternoon at the beach

Sandy bum.

Shannon, on our way down Cullen Ave.

Getting ready for fireworks...

Blurry, but still.

Ryan--checking me out.

For the love...

2010-07-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

It's driving me crazy that I haven't posted about our trip yet. You too? Things have been a bit crazy since we got home and every spare second I've had since Sunday has been spent unloading the dishwasher, asking Lilly if she needs to go potty, and maybe catching up on Friday Night Lights and The Deadliest Catch. I haven't been all that faithful to TDC, but since Captain Phil died, I've been hooked again. I loved him. I think the life of a fisherman on the Bering Sea is fascinating. And I also love Mike Rowe--he's funny.

And so, I still haven't posted about our trip to Delaware. But, I will. Soon.

Lilly is almost potty trained. She has the potty thing down for sure--I don't even have to ask her anymore (but I do) and it's only been three days. She just stops what she is doing, pulls her panties down and sits on her little potty. I has wanted to skip the "little" potty altogether, but she seems to be into it, so we'll just go with it. Hopefully, I'll be able to bribe her on to the big potty in a few weeks. We are still working on the poop. I'm confident we'll be ok. Tough job, this potty stuff.

Caleb is walking. He's such a big boy all of the sudden. I'm on the cusp of a whole new stage with these two--I can totally feel it. It's weird. I'm not sure how I feel about leaving the baby stage. I guess I should be excited to be moving on, but I'm a little sad that we might not (probably won't) be returning to the baby stage.

Caleb is also saying a few audible things--like "all gone," and "uh-oh." And he points to the sky and freaks out whenever he hears/sees an airplane. In fact, he does that with motorcycles and trucks now too. He is such a boy...and I swear, I didn't teach him how to "vroom, vroom" his cars. It's pretty awesome.

I don't know what has happened to all my silverware. At one point, I had like 20 knives. I now have six. It's annoying. I'm not in the mood to spend $160 on two place settings. And, I keep breaking glasses. I got smart and started buying cheap, but cute drinking glasses at Target, but still.

Lilly has discovered Scooby Doo. Today she told me I was freaky. I'm guessing Shaggy and the gang had something to do with that. Funny.

I think we are headed up to Tahoe for the weekend. Just a quick, overnight trip. We always have fun up there and it's so close, we have no excuse to not go. We are going.

My eyes are burning and that is a for sure sign that I need to get some sleep. I WILL get our vacation posts up tomorrow. It's my homework assignment for the day. I also have to make cupcakes for our favorite worker/friend in the play center at the gym--GINA! We would be lost without her and so we are celebrating big on Friday morning.

Also, I read the most interesting article on the way home from the beach. I'm interested in hearing/reading thoughts...

And, I'm now a Miami Heat fan. Bandwagons? I love them. Fair weather? Yes. I don't care what the haters say, it's going to be so much fun to watch.

And we're back...

2010-07-12T09:07:00.001-07:00

We are home. We got in Saturday afteroon, after a VERY long travel day. The kids had some minor jet-lag yesterday morning and were up for the day at 4am. Not cool. This morning Lilly was up at 5:30am.

We are unpacked and ready to get back to our normal schedule. I hope.

I'll work on getting my photos organized and try to remember everything that we did so I can document our trip the right way.

We are all sporting nice tans and one of us mastered WALKING while we were away.

Vacations are awesome...

2010-06-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

We've been on the Delaware shore for two days now. We are already in a lovely little routine: Breakfast, beach, lunch, naps, beach, dinner, bed. It"s pretty much awesome. Ryan woke up this morning and before we got out of bed, I reminded him that it was only day two of 14 days. He sighed a sigh of relief. If feels so good to not have to think about our return trip...vacations should be a mandatory two weeks.

The kids are still getting used to the sand and surf, but we are determined to get them out there for a few hours everyday. Caleb was so tired today that he just put his little head down on his blanket and went to sleep under the umbrella. He's been so good. Both kids were awesome on the flights over. No whining, no freaking out, no crying.

My sisters and Juice get here tomorrow. Bocce Ball and kite flying are about to get serious.

Pictures will probably be courtesy of the iPhone--I didn't bring my computer.

I'm reading The Thorn Birds and it's so good.

2:43...

2010-06-25T02:43:00.001-07:00

Caleb woke up in vomit around 1am. An hour and a half later, he's back asleep. I thought the sickness that swept through our house might have missed him.

I was wrong.

I'm waiting for his blankie to dry--I want him to have it when he wakes up in the morning.

Get it out now, I say. I want none of this vomiting thing happening on our flight East.

I'm sanitizing/cleaning the ENTIRE house tomorrow. Just one more thing to do before we go.

Fun.

Treadmill thoughts...

2010-06-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today when I was on the treadmill, I thought, "Maybe I should be on Dance Your Ass Off."

That would be awesome, I think.

Because the reality show I'm currently on...the one called, "Two Hours a Day and Five Days a Week of Working Out," isn't really getting the ratings I was hoping for.

Hmmm...

We are leaving for the beach in 3 days. I've started to pack. It's starting to feel real. I'm a tad bit worried about the 20 minute layover we have in Denver, but whatever, we will be on vacation!

Lilly got Ryan's bug and spent most of last night throwing up. It's the saddest thing to watch your kids vomit. She was so scared and didn't know what to do with herself right before it would come up. She (we) made it though and this morning she woke up feeling great. I've done about 27 loads of laundry as a result of the upchucks, but that's ok.

I need to do something productive now...

Butterflies...

2010-06-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, when we were up at my parents' house, we went to this awesome butterfly exhibit at Turtle Bay. It was right out of Fancy Nancy Bonjour Butterfly! It really was one of the coolest things I've ever done. There were hundreds of butterflies flitting around--and as much as we tried not to touch them, we might have broken the rules. They were so willing to sit on our fingers--I'm so sure!

We learned some pretty fascinating things about butterflies that day. Did you know that they only live for a month or so? All that beauty and it's only around for a few weeks? I was bummed out by this fact. And even more bummed to hear that all day long, the exhibit volunteers have to make sure to pick up the dead butterflies--their month was up.

Dead or not, they are beautiful, and I loved watching Lilly and Caleb in awe of them. It was a pretty cool thing.

This is a box of the dead butterflies that had been collected over the course of a few days...

He's so grown-up all of the sudden. Still not walking, but close.

They are huddled around an orange slice. Who knew they liked oranges?

Nana.

Dads, not Fathers...

2010-06-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ryan spent most of Father's Day barfing. But that's ok, because it meant that we got to take care of him for once. He's usually the one doing the taking care of. You know what I mean?

I hope he knows how much Lilly, Caleb and I love him. I'm pretty sure he knows how much Caleb loves him, because the kid can't keep it together whenever Ryan walks into the room. Lilly too--she loves him so much. She LOVES to go swimming with her daddy, and she loves to play Princess Leia (Lego Star Wars on the Xbox). Those are her two favorite things to do with Ryan lately.

As for my Dad? He's the most unselfish person I know. I wish I could be more like him. He's spent a lifetime making sure the people around him have everything they need before he worries about what he needs. He's sacrificed a lot--I hope he knows how much we love him.

Ryan spent Saturday at the US Open with Juice. They were the ones running from hole to hole and shouting things to the players that would get them to laugh or tip their hats. My dad and brother went yesterday. Had it not been a weekend dedicated to fathers, I might have insisted that I get a chance to walk Pebble Beach with the pros. Maybe next year--the Open will be at Congressional (DC), so we might have to plan our annual East Coast trip around that. Hmmm. We are dorky golf people around here.

Too bad we wasted all of yesterday afternoon watching Phil, Tiger, and friends hack it up. Oh well. Good for the dude from Northern Ireland!

We are on a countdown to Delaware. 6 days. We get on a plane on Saturday. I can hardly wait.

Gotta get to the gym. Maybe I can lose 30 pounds in 6 days?

Cleaning day and a day at the races...

2010-06-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today was cleaning day. Have I mentioned that I hate it? Cleaning, I mean. But, I'm doing it.

And now my hands are dry.

We've been, as Lilly says, super busy the last week or so. We went to the horse races on Sunday! And it was exactly what you'd expect the horse races to be. Old men everywhere, older Asian women everywhere, cafeteria-like food, tv's showing races at other tracks, etc. It was awesome. One of Ryan's co-workers had their 2 year old daughter's party there--such a great idea. We (tried) to dress in our Derby best, but I haven't exactly stuffed our drawers full of seer sucker...we went with lots of black and white and some pastels. We tried.

We did bet. Although, we have no idea what/who we bet on. Betting on horses is a science--you have to study those horses and read all about what they've been up to lately. We didn't have time for that, so we let Lilly pick our horses. I think we walked out winning $3.

(That's I-80 and the Berkeley in the background.)

Update...

2010-06-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

Still getting beat up like a rag doll around here. I'm trying to stay focused, keep moving, and just make it through the day. I was up until 2am last night--couldn't sleep. And then Lilly woke up at 4:30am in full blown tantrum mode. What?!!? She screamed, cried, and thrashed for an hour.

It was so awesome.

They both woke up crying at 7:30am. I dropped some eye drops in my eyes, popped a few Excedrin, and got to it.

Caleb is sleeping now. But not before he cried it out for 20 minutes.

Lilly is having quiet time/watching Aladdin. I'm not going to fight with her today...she can crash whenever/wherever she wants.

I love them. So, so much. I really do.

We will get through this.

In other news...

Have I mentioned that m youngest sister got engaged? She did. So both of my sisters are getting married in the next few months. We are looking forward to the weddings. Lilly has stated that she wants to wear a pink dress to the weddings. Pink isn't the color she is being requested to wear, so we'll have to work on that.

I need to update my make-up bag. Maybe I'll work on that this weekend. A little trip to Sephora might just make me feel better after the last few weeks of minor torture.

And my new favorite thing? I don't usually buy clothes (for me) at Target. I haven't really been that impressed in the past. But. They do have the best tank top EVER. I wear them for everything--sleeping, working out, over my swim suit. They have just the right amount of stretch and don't fade or lose their shape. I usually stick to black and grey, but they come in tons of colors. I LOVE them. And they are only $9. Sometimes, they go on sale and you can find them for $7.

I'm off to read the Rolling Stone article on Jay-Z. Love him.

Um...can I get a time-out here...

2010-06-07T07:16:00.001-07:00

Motherhood is really kicking my a** lately.

The last few weeks have not been pretty. I could blame it on the summer colds we all got, the demise of the binkie, or Caleb fighting his morning nap and therefore forcing me to rearrange our morning routine.

But.

I'm inclined to think it's less about our circumstances and more about my attitude.

I need a major attitude adjustment and I'm not sure I am capable of making the necessary tweaks. I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel--I mean, things go great for a few weeks and then, WHAM!, I get totally overwhelmed and can't deal. I'm tired. And still sick. And Lilly woke up at 5:45 this morning. Um...no. I CANNOT handle 5:45.

I just can't.

Sometimes, after a really long week, I crave to be out in the world--outside the walls of my house. And sometimes, I really want to be alone. All alone. No poop, no whining, no meals to fix. But then I'm alone for an hour or two and then I just want to know what my kids are doing. Has Caleb pooped yet? Did Lilly eat all her yogurt? It's sick, really. And totally making me crazy.

Poor Ryan. He has a crazy woman for a wife.

We are in a transition period. And changes are hard--I'm remembering that now. Caleb is growing out of his morning nap, and Lilly is maybe NOT napping at all somedays. Maybe when things fall into a normal pattern, we'll find our happy place again. I'm a creature of habit, maybe? I've never thought of myself as someone who needs structure, but I think that has changed since I've become a mother. I like knowing what's coming next and right now, I have no idea what is going to happen from moment to moment.

Some other things that are making me crazy:

-I have a pantry full of food, but nothing to eat.

-There is no Tylenol on the store shelves and I'm not convinced the store brands work.

-I can't find a comfortable temperature for my house--we are hot, and then we are cold.

-I haven't worked out in almost a week...(this could be a part of the problem mentioned above)

-Lilly is no longer liking bananas, making her fruit intake zilch.

-Lilly is also not that excited about the potty chart I made her.

-My bangs. It's time to grow them out. Uuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh.

So, while I wait for the crazies to pass, I'm going to stock up on chocolate and caffeine. Lots and lots of those two items.

Binkie Fairies don't fail me now...

2010-06-02T21:53:00.001-07:00

I started this post last weekend...

Yep. I finally mustered up the courage to take the binkie away from Lilly. It's been driving me crazy for months now and she wasn't showing any sign of giving it up on her own.

If we were home, she wanted it. In fact, she had personified it. "Binkie" was a part of our family. Along with "Blankie." She would wake up at night if she couldn't find it, and lately, her little lips are all chaffed because of it. Enough, I said.

She's obsessed with those jewlery boxes with the ballerina in them. Soooooo, that's what the Binkie Fairies left her. She totally got what was going to happen. She went to bed Thursday night with her binkie and I told her that when she woke up, her binkies would be gone, but the Binkie Fairies will have left her a beautiful present. She woke up at 2am whining for her binkie. I went in and told her it was ok, and that the Binkie Fairies had come and she would need to be strong. It was the saddest thing...in between sobs, she was saying thinks like, "I miss my binkie so, so, so much." And, "I just don't think I can go to sleep without my binkie." I was surprised just how much she got it, actually. I don't think I give her enough credit sometimes.

After 45 minutes of trying to get her to calm down, she finally burrowed herself into me and asked if she could sleep in my bed. She has never asked to do this before, so of course I was going to let her. Hopefully, this won't backfire on me.

She woke up Friday morning at 6:40--about 45 minutes earlier than normal. I can live with this, I guess. The first thing she asked me was if the Binkie Fairies had left her a present. I told her to go check in her room and she came back with the biggest smile I had ever seen on her face, and she was carrying her princess-wrapping-paper-wrapped jewelry box. She opened it up and let out a little squeal--I've never seen her this excited about a gift before. It was pretty cute.

She did ok that first day--she would whine for it periodically, but I really think she knew the binkies were gone. I didn't even attempt to get her down for a nap...I figured it would be easier to get her down for bed if she was exhausted (and I was scared). I was right, she was so tired, she only asked for her binkie once before passing out.

We had a very busy weekend, which turned out to be a nice distraction from the demise of the binkies. My parents came down looking for an adventure, so we headed up to Coloma--Gold Country--for the day. And the mall the next day. Lots of running around and exploring new places left Lilly a very tired (and turns out, sick) girl.

It's Wednesday night. She's totally over the binkie. I sorta can't believe it. It's been such a BIG part of her little life for the last three years, that it's pretty amazing it only took a week for her to forget about it. Even with a nasty cold and some sort of stomach bug, she hasn't freaked out over not having it. We should have given it to the Binkie Fairies long ago.

Anyway, we did it.

Next up: Full-time panties.

I'd like to take a potty-trained, non-binkie sucking three year old to the beach at the end of the month!

the new toy

2010-05-31T08:23:00.000-07:00

Shasta County...

2010-05-24T17:13:00.001-07:00

Growing up, Rodeo Week was a big deal. Huge. There was the pancake breakfast on Friday, the bank heist earlier in the week, the hunt for the cash, the parade on Saturday morning, and then the actual rodeos, of course. I usually skipped those.

But. I did love the parade. It seemed so "big" to me. My grandpa would set-up our special spot super early in the morning and the entire family knew where we'd be come parade time.

I've been excited to take my kids one day. This was the year--we headed up a few weekends ago to kick it at the big parade.
I had my dad make sure we got our special spot...gotta keep things the same, you know?

Lilly and Cal loved it. Ryan...not so much. It wasn't quite as grandiose as I remember it, but it was still fun to be there with my kids.

(My Alma Mater--EHS)

(This is where I'm from...)

Lost...

2010-05-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

The SERIES finale of Lost is on tomorrow night. So, now there is one less good tv show out there.

Lame.

Watch this if you are a fan.

Zoo

2010-05-21T10:05:00.001-07:00

We went to the zoo yesterday. We did a few laps around our favorite animals, rode the train and the carousel And then, after all of that, we stopped by the park for a bit.

They were exhausted by the end the day. And really, really dirty. But, it was a great day.

My goal was to have them (mostly Lilly) in bed by 7pm. She crashed on my bed as soon as her jammies were on. Goal attained.

(They could hardly contain themselves when the train conductor was doing his "All Aboard!" call)

(They are really starting to play together...Caleb is growing up way too fast...)

(Checking out the giant turtles)

Magical Moments...

2010-05-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned a billion times how "my people" are scattered all over the world, and it's not everyday that I get to surround myself with people who I like. This sounds harsh, but if you think about it for a second, you'll agree that it's true for you too. Right?

Anyway.

Diane is one of my "persons." I have serious backyard envy whenever I'm at her house...but that is another story. Well, no, I guess it's not. Her backyard is a magical place and so magical moments are easily created. And, Diane plans and carries out beautiful birthday parties for her girls. And then friend Raymond comes in with his bad ass camera skills (with a 24-70 lens...I have got to get one of those!) and takes some magical photos. I'm just posting the ones of my family, but there were many, many amazing moments captured by him that evening.

And a shout out to Facebook. I've been on the fence for months now, but after these photos were able to be shared with me, and since it's the only way to quickly connect with my lovely bf Kelly and her new twins, I'm a believer. A total Facebook fan. It's instant gratification--which is one of my absolute favorite things.

Amgen Gala...

2010-05-17T12:42:00.001-07:00

We saw Lance. And all the other bad ass cyclists.

Close-up.

They introduced all the teams and interviewed the most well-known guys. It was a good time.

The first stage was from Nevada City to Sacramento yesterday.

(Team Radio Shack)

Not down with the bribes...

2010-05-13T01:15:00.001-07:00

She's too smart for me. I can't beat her.

I thought a ring pop might get her excited about the potty. I told her if she sat on the potty for a little bit, I'd give her a beautiful jewel. She sat. And then she asked for her reward. I tried to get her to sit a little while longer, but she wasn't having it. So, I gave her the ring pop.

She looked at it for a minute, took a lick, and then chucked it across the room.

SLC...

2010-05-13T00:34:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at Reed and Ashley's wedding. We were able to spend some quality time with our people--Lon and Jen. Love them.

The bride is a make-up artist/salon owner and the groom has practiced law in D.C. and LA. So, the scene was very fashion forward and hip. I was definitely under dressed. But I couldn't compete, and so I didn't even try. In fact, I didn't really care. What I'm trying to say is that there was some awesome people/outfit watching.

(La Caille)

(Lon & Jen--our people)

(Ryan--before he put on his "real" shoes)

And this trip to SLC solidified something for me. Most (not all!) Utahns have a California complex. You'd think California was Heaven the way they talk about it. And they all know someone who lives here, or they used to live here themselves. It was weird the way everything kept coming back to California.

It's not that great. It's expensive. And the state will be bankrupt before we know it.

And not everybody in California lives on the beach. Look at a map for goodness sakes.

I'm going to try to redeem my frumpy wedding outfit this Friday. We are going to the Amgen Gala courtesy of Ryan's job. It's black tie optional, which leaves me a little wiggle room in the glam department. However, after my poor showing last weekend, I'm indeed wearing black this time. And lots of make-up.

Fish are friends...not food...

2010-05-13T00:17:00.000-07:00

(Photo: Flickr)

Well, I might be a murderer. A fish murderer. I've now killed four goldfish in the last year and a half. The first two were from the ping-pong toss into the goldfish bowl game at the State Fair last summer. I thought they would only last a few days, but I was wrong. They wouldn't die. And I got so very tired of cleaning out the bowl. So, I just flushed them one day. Lilly never noticed.

These last two...well, their deaths were an accident. In an attempt to clean their bowl earlier this week, I tried to pour them out into a smaller bowl.

Over the sink.

Do you know where this is headed?

The first one went so fast I stood there for a second in shock. There was a goldfish in my garbage disposal. Well, at least there would be as soon as I decided to flip the switch. I didn't know what else to do! I was not going to stick my hand down the sink drain to get it! I quickly turned on the disposal and threw a lemon in to chase it.

And then I went back to the (now) lone fish. I still needed to clean the bowl. I started to pour out the water, assuming I wouldn't make the same mistake again and he would end up in the smaller bowl.

Um....

Second fish has also landed in the disposal.

I said, "Shit."

And then I turned the disposal on, threw in another lemon, and put the fish bowl in the dishwasher.

No more fish for us.

In the 801

2010-05-08T15:52:00.001-07:00

Ryan and I are in Salt Lake City for a wedding. We will be here
for 24 hours.

Flashlight fun...

2010-05-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

I turned around from making dinner the other night to see this:

So awesome.

She said she was looking for poop.

My new favorite thing to do during nap time...

2010-05-06T14:53:00.001-07:00

Ah, the sun.

And the trampoline makes a lovely lounge chair.

I finished The Help. It was ok. I liked the last 20 pages the best. That's usually how it goes, right? I'm starting my search for good beach reads. I mean, we only have 51 days until we get on a plane that will take us to our beloved Dewey Beach beach house for TWO WHOLE WEEKS.

So, I need beach read 2010 recommendations.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

2010-05-05T09:18:00.001-07:00

Lilly and I watched The Sound of Music yesterday while I was cleaning. And I've had Do Re Miin my head ever since.

Cleaning. Oh man. I started at 11:30 am and DID NOT stop until 7:00PM. My legs were sore when I went to bed last night. How pathetic is that?

It did not take me seven and a half hours because my house was abnormally dirty. It took me that long because I'm still trying to work out a cleaning system (read: clean fast and effectively). And because I have to feed my kids. And bathe them. And stop them from swallowing $1.24 in change.

It did feel really good to sit down and look around at my nice clean house when I was done. But man, I was beat.

Rewind to our weekend.

Wow.

What a fabulous time we had being together as a family. I LOVE watching my kids play with their cousins--it makes me love them a little bit more. I've learned that Lilly is a little bossy? No, maybe it's more like overbearing? She really wanted to play particular things with Avery and sometimes Avery wasn't down with Lilly's plan. I found myself having to tell Lilly to give Avery a little space. She wasn't like that with just Avery, come to think of it. She was all over Missy, Devin, and Kevin too. But I guess it was an indication that she was having a really great time. I can accept that.

I don't even know where to start.

Oh wait. My sunglasses.

I lost them.

At some ridiculous pizza planet type place out in Roseville. We decided that a dinner out to celebrate Juice's birthday would be more fun (less work) if we went somewhere the kids would enjoy. It was Chuck E. Cheese x 100. It was more fun to watch how the kids reacted to the chaos of the place. It scared Lilly--she had never seen anything like it. Devin managed to figure out how to manipulate the Claw game and we ended up with plastic dinosaurs for everyone!

Missy ran her race and made her goal. That girl is amazing. She ran 13.1 MILES in ONE HOUR AND 39 MINUTES. Do you know how fast that is?

Fast.

And that was after two nights (at least) of no sleep. I don't know how she does it. But it's inspiring.

I'm going to go do something active right now.

2010-04-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

What a productive weekend we had!

-we cleaned the house.

-power washed the back patio. Power washers are amazing...I'm putting one on my "I want one" list.

-grocery shopping was done.

-monthly Costco run completed.

-Jen's hair was cut and colored! Not sure how to explain this expense to my new CFO. It's just one of those things--there's no way to do it any cheaper. The good news is that I only do it once every 8 weeks. That's a good thing, right? Right?

-We go on Sunday walks--tonight's was fun.

Lilly has been saying some awesome stuff lately. I had a friend stop by yesterday and when I asked her if she knew who's mommy it was, she said, "I don't care."

And she told Ryan to hurry up yesterday, "Hurry up Old Man."

And she's constantly going on about how she can't get married because she lost her necklace? And her Prince will never come if she doesn't find it.

We have a busy week--Ryan is working late nights and we are getting ready for the Heids to come on Thursday! Can't wait for the kids to be together.

(He's almost walking. And he's wearing half of his jammies.)

Did I mention she's three?

2010-04-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

She had her 3 year check-up a few weeks ago.

She's in the 84% for weight and 65% for height. (That's for you, Farrah!)

She's still not potty trained. I tabled it until we could get healthy. And I might be waiting until we start to live in our swim suits. Lazy? Yes. Our pediatrician told us (Ryan came along) to stop making more work for ourselves and to chill out a bit. Ryan and I (mainly me) have been stressing about the fact that she's not potty trained yet. And the fact that she's still obsessed with her binky. After our visit with the doctor, I've calmed down a bit. She reminded me that you don't see kindergarteners with diapers on and rarely do you see one who is still attached to a binky.

Lilly better not be the rarely.

Lilly is all kinds of funny. She loves to help me around the house. And she loves Caleb so much...she's always concerned about his whereabouts.

She loves Fancy Nancy books and...

Peter Pan (and friends)

the library (especially the computers!)

pancakes

bananas

red chips (doritos)

yogurt

puzzles

jumping on her trampoline

Pinkalicious/Goldilicious/Purplicious

our local park and swinging with Caleb

snuggling

playing with her babies

singing songs at Kindermusik

her friends at the gym

running

her Snow White dress

stories before bedtime

the "Lilly June" song

watching/reading about dicey situations (she loves when someone is trapped, locked up in a dungeon, or in trouble)

She's really into calling me "My Lady." As in, "Do you want to come downstairs with me, My Lady?"

her little laugh is infectious. It's true--Cal laughs every time she does. He has no idea why he's laughing and so then I laugh.

she only drinks water

there's so much that makes her such a unique little girl...I need to do a better job of remembering/posting.

I love her so much right now. She's my little buddy.

Juice was here...

2010-04-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Juice was here this past weekend. He's Rauzon Media's new CFO. It's the most awesome thing ever.

He has spent hours and hours and hours of his own time to make our lives better (easier!).

We owe him. Big time.

The plan is to get organized, get out of debt, and then go in on a beach house with the siblings. This is real. You should say something. A beach house! And it's not that far away--it just means I may be staying away from the mall for a while.

I miss her...

2010-04-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

I really missed my cleaning lady today. I sound ridiculous, I know.

But it's pretty clear, after today, that I won't be able to clean my house in one day--it'll take me two.

I did manage to get the sheets changed, and clean all of downstairs. And, all the laundry is done.

I still need to clean all of upstairs.

I made shrimp tacos from Kathryn's recipe site. Yum. I don't think I've ever cooked with a "real" jalapeno, but I did tonight. I'm just turning into a regular Holly Homemaker right before your very eyes.

Tomorrow, I'm power washing the back patio.

Running...

2010-04-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

We went out today to get some sun. The clouds parted this afternoon and so we headed to the...get ready for this....

The dog park.

We don't have a dog. And we have no plans to get a dog.

But, my kids love animals so much. And Caleb gets so excited when he sees dogs.

The dog park by our house has two gates--one for small dogs and one for large dogs. The small dog side was more our style. I was able to put Caleb on the ground and let the little puppies go to town on him. I didn't care and he loved every second of it. I wish I would have had my camera with me--but, I was in minimalist mode.

Lilly wanted to run on the path. She ran in front of us and then we she stopped, she would pretend to wipe the sweat from her brow and say, "That was hard work." She was pretty cute today.

We did venture over to the "large" dog side of the park. Despite my attempts to keep Lilly from getting jumped on by the big dogs, a muddy golden retriever wanted to give her a few licks. She laughed and said, "That dog is so silly, it spit on me." And then she said, "It's nose is running." I had to laugh out loud at that one. She felt saliva on her skin and instantly assumed the dog had a runny nose. Awesome.

Cousins...

2010-04-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

We hope you have a great day!

The Easter Bunny came...

2010-04-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

Everydays...

2010-03-31T20:39:00.000-07:00

This is a regular scene in our house. Lilly watching her show with a snack and Caleb begging for her to share. What you don't see is cute Lilly sharing her Nilla Wafers with her little brother.

I think he's the cutest. He's usually got some sort of something all over his face, but still. He seems to be getting bigger--finally!

And this one. She's obsessed with me. But I secretly love it. Except maybe around 6pm when I'm trying to do a million things and she wants to sit on my lap and "snuggle."

Tomorrow she has her 3 year check-up. I'm hoping it's drama free.

Valley of the sun...

2010-03-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

We are back from Scottsdale. It was great. I took my camera, but I didn't take one picture. Shameful, I know. I've got to work on my memory making skills. This post won't have a photo either--at least until tomorrow. I'm too tired to go downstairs. Blogging on my laptop, in bed.

I meet Ryan in the Phoenix airport on Thursday night. He had work stuff and flew from a different airport on an earlier flight. When I found him at baggage claim, he was wearing a suit, rockin' a pair of flip-flops, and typing away on his blackberry. That's my husband and he's awesome. My sister picked us up and we headed to downtown Scottsdale for a late dinner.

I slept in until 9:30am. The beauty of hotel rooms is that they are equipped with those super black out curtains. There was no light getting in that room--it was divine. Shannon and I headed to the mall. For six hours. That was divine too. I had no reason to rush--my husband was on the golf course until the sun went down and my kids were two states away. It was the strangest feeling. I couldn't get over it--I kept having to remind myself that I didn't have to hurry, I didn't have to get home to relieve someone.

I slept in again Saturday morning. Watched an overpriced movie in the room, went on a bike ride with Ryan before he went golfing, sat by the pool, had a facial, ate peanut M&M's, and might have had a Dr. Pepper. (I know I said I'm not a soda drinker anymore. I'm still not, but I was on vacation!).

Sunday consisted of a spring training baseball game. The Giants sucked it up and since they were losing so badly, we left early to hang out with some college friends. We love Joe and Jamie (and Easton and Will too!). Again, why do all the people who "get us" live so far away? It's starting to feel cruel. I need my people.

We flew home super early yesterday morning and I paid for it all day. Unlike my husband, I'm not accustomed to waking up at 4am. I was a mess. Thankfully, my mom hung out for a few hours while I took a short nap. I wouldn't have made it otherwise.

My mom. She's the best. She stayed with Lilly and Caleb all weekend and handled it like a pro. I guess she is a pro--she did raise four kids of her own while working full-time. They had pancakes every morning, spent hours at the park, had picnics on the trampoline, jumped on the couch cushions, and had toast in bed before bedtime. Lilly didn't ask about us once. And her birthday was a success because she had her Nana there.

I missed them. It took me a day and a half to stop worrying/wondering about them. I won't do that next time. But, it was my first time leaving both of them, and so I just wanted everything to go ok. And, I wanted to make sure my mom wasn't going insane. She wasn't.

We are back to our regular schedule. Except tonight...Lilly watched the new Twilight movie in bed with me. She loves the werewolves. And she likes when Bella dives in the water. And when Edward "cracks." She feel asleep all snuggled up to me, and when the movie was over, I picked her up and put her in her bed. It was a good night.

What?

2010-03-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

(I tried to edit it, but I suck at editing photos, so deal. We were in the Bounce House)

Here's the thing...

First of all, it cost me $200 to have my aforementioned washing machine repaired. It's like three years old. Less than that.

AND!

A couple of lightbulbs in our bathroom vanity burned out. I went to Home Depot to get replacements only to find out that our home builder had decided to use a lightbulb that can only be purchased through a special lightbulb manufacturer. What? I had to spend $57 on lightbulbs and wait two weeks for them to be shipped. I'd like to have a word with the dumb ass that made the lighting decisions.

Things are pretty bleak around our parts right now. We've all had a bout of a nasty cold/flu for the last two weeks. Ryan is in it right now...hopefully he'll be feeling better soon. And Cal can't seem to kick it all the way. He's still coughing a bit. But, it's better than the gross conjunctivitis he was down and out with last week. Actually, both of my kids were hit, but Lilly got over it pretty quick. I hadn't experienced that lovely sickness yet...it was all kinds of gross. Thank goodness it was viral (cold related) and not the pink eye variety. No meds necessary. Boogers coming out of their eyes. Awesome. I felt so bad for Caleb--he'd wake up in the morning and not be able to open his eyes because they were so gooped up. And that stuff is not kidding. I had to put him the bath or shower to get it off. Crazy glue like stuff.

Anyway. We might as well go into hibernation every winter. We are just not healthy people from November to March.

And on that note...I've been weaning myself (under my Dr.'s care) off of my antidepressant. I want to hit the "reset" button, so to speak. I've been on some sort of antidepressant for the last five years...maybe I can treat it naturally. I don't know, but I want to try. If it doesn't work, I have no problem going back on the medication. I'm just curious to see if I can maintain a healthy state of mind without the medication. And I'm not joking around here...I'm not performing some sort of science experiment...like, let's see what crazy things I'll do when I'm off my meds. I'm just feeling really medicated lately and I'm craving...I don't know...to not be. Like when you've only been eating junk for a days and days and finally your body has had enough and the only thing that sounds good is leafy greens. I'm feeling like that.

Enter Omega 3's. That's right...Fish Oil. I'm jumping on the holistic wagon and getting me some Nordic Naturals. We'll see. I'm also putting Caleb on flax seed oil. He's got major poop issues, so instead of spiking his water with Miralax everyday, I'm going to try the flax seed. All I need now is a Subaru and a pair of Chacos (no offense to my Subaru driving friends).

We are still on a budget. And it's still depressing.

In order to save some serious cash every month, I've let my cleaning lady go. I'm nervous about this. No one is going to clean my house for me anymore. I'm responsible for cleaning the little dots of dried pee around the toilet. And I have to carry my vacuum upstairs at least once a week. And scrub the bathtub and shower. And change the sheets. And Clorox the kitchen counters. And clean the oven. Just to name a few. Ugh. I'm having a panic attack right now just thinking about it. I realize I sound like a spoiled brat. I don't care. I've really enjoyed NOT having to clean my house. I HAVE NOT taken it for granted. NEVER. NOT ONCE. I'm determined to learn something from the whole budget thing though and if one of my lessons consists of mastering the art of dusting blinds, I will master it.

Lilly turns 3 on Friday. Ryan and I are headed to Scottsdale, AZ this weekend for our very first weekend away since we've had two kids. We feel bad about being gone on her actual birthday, but she's 3--she won't remember this. And we'll make it up to her. Plus, she's driving me insane with her potty issues, so she owes me this.

And have I mentioned how when she gets really upset she yells, "This is not my life!"

I think I have.

I need to go to bed.

I barely made it...

2010-03-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today was ridiculous.

Lilly went through 6 pairs of panties and didn't actually pee in the potty once.

She did pee in the parking lot at the gym though. Right after I spent a good 15 minutes trying to get her to sit on the little potty in the play room before we left.

What am I doing wrong? I feel so defeated. I've decided to stay consistent though and NOT put her back in pull-ups. Well, this was my plan until she threw a major fit because she wanted to go poop and was not about to sit on the potty for that.

But, besides the poop thing, I'm sticking with it. I'll put her in a pull-up for her naps and right before bed, but that's it. The rest of the day, it's panties and I'm hoping that she'll eventually get tired of the pee running down her leg and decide to sit on the damn potty.

I've tried all possible bribes...nothing works. Just in case you were thinking, "Bribe her."

She also didn't nap today, so that made for a really fun afternoon and bed time. Think: Major meltdowns.

Caleb. Sweet Caleb. He has teeth coming in everywhere, so he's a little grouchy too.

And then, to top the day off, my washing machine decided to go on the fritz. Mid wash. So, it's full of water and clothes--mostly princess panties, but whatever.

Tomorrow's a new day!

I haven't taken my camera out of its case once this month. That's horrible. Why am I so lazy about certain things?

He's my cute boy...

2010-03-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

And now he's bald. But, I love it. I kept his hair--I have it in a little plastic baggy.

Wait. I might have something interesting to say after all...

2010-03-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

(Cute cousins)

Sometimes blogging feels like homework to me. And I hate homework. I was always a good student, but not because I got started on things early.

So, I"ll ease my way back in with some bullet points...

* I watched the Oscars and I'm so glad The Hurt Locker was recognized. I thought it was an exceptional film--I loved every second of it. I finally saw Precious last night. It was good too, although a really hard movie to watch for me. Having kids makes some things so much harder to stomach. I have yet to see The Blind Side--I'm not sure I want to. From what I'm hearing, Sandra Bullock didn't really earn her award. But, she sure looked amazing. I LOVED her dress.

* Lilly is still NOT potty trained.

* Meggan shaved Caleb's head when we were down there. It looks great. So much better.

* Our new budgeting ways have turned me into a cheapskate. I do NOT like that a box of Nilla Wafers is $4.98 at our local grocery store and ONLY $2.98 over at Wal-Mart. Ugh. I guess I'm going to start buying pantry items at the Wal-Mart.

* I'm officially NO LONGER a soda drinker. I mean, I've had a few sips here and there over the last two months or so, but I do not get in my car and drive to the gas station every night for a soda fix anymore. And I don't keep soda in my fridge. I really don't miss it.

* Sugar is still my nemesis.

* We purchased our tickets to Delaware. TWO weeks this year. And, we will be there over the 4th of July. I've never spent a 4th on a beach. I can't wait.

* I'm so sick over what California (wait...the entire USA) has let happen to our education system and consequently, our teachers, that I could throw up. Really. Half of my cohort from my my credential program were pink slipped last week and are in jeopardy of NOT working in the fall. What? These are really great, inspired teachers. I'm sad for them. And, I found out one of my mentor teachers was also pink slipped. She's been teaching for seven years and is an AMAZING teacher. I don't get it. I recently read an article in The New Yorker (and a similar one in Newsweek) that questions the purpose of the all-powerful teacher unions. In many cases, the Union ends up spending (wasting) time and more importantly, money, on teachers who are not good (no do they care to be) at their jobs. Safe is what they are. The Newsweek article went on to talk about how hard it is to fire bad teachers...So now I'm wondering what I'll do with my life once my kids are school. I feel passionate about teaching, but I DO NOT feel passionate about working for a government that doesn't see the value of a good teacher. It's maybe the most frustrating thing I've ever thought about. It's so big and messed up...it seems doomed.

* The Liberty of London line at Target is lovely. I might have found a pillow I love.

* Back to my new found cheapskate ways--I'm determined to make my own version of my favorite t-shirts (J.Crew). I was studying one today and realized that I can totally make my own. I'm reluctant to jump on the craft bandwagon, but if my shirts turn out cute, I'm over it. I have some fabric already, so I just need to figure out what I'm going to do and find some quality t-shirts to do it to. Hmm...ignore my grammatically incorrect sentences, huh?

2010-03-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

Last week was crazy. We had more things on our to-do list than normal and that made for some crazy days and a really crazy Momma.

But. We had a A LOT of fun visiting family and celebrating Caleb's 1st birthday a few weekends ago.

We spent Saturday morning boating on Newport Harbor. So pretty. It was one of the cooler things I've done down there. I really enjoyed it. I think the kids did too. I DIDN'T like the part where we had to go out to the bouy to see the seals though. We were in total open ocean and the swells were big. I'm not into open ocean in a small boat. Ryan jumped in. He loves to jump in the ocean--doesn't matter what time of year or how cold the water is, he's in.

We docked for a bit and played at a great park right on the harbor. Good day with the cousins.

Next up...Caleb's birthday celebration...

What is this show?

2010-02-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

(It's still February...so, the obligatory cookie picture)

What is Lazy Town all about? I don't get it. It's in the same genre as The Wiggles and Imagination Movers.

Adults dressed up and acting like morons. But, my kid loves it, so I'll let her have her 23 minutes of ridiculousness.

The sun. Oh man, the sun. It's been a glorious five days. I feel like a different person--you can't help but be in a good mood with bright blue skies and sunshiny afternoons at your feet. It's just what we needed after a few nasty weeks (on both the weather AND emotional fronts).

We are leaving tomorrow--I'm so excited to watch Lilly and Caleb play with their cousins. Lilly's been talking about it for days now.

American Idol. In nine seasons, I have NEVER watched from the first episode. Well, I guess I should say in eight seasons. Because this year, I'm invested. I've watched every minute of the show--from the very first tryout city. And I've enjoyed every second of it. I totally get what is so great about this show--ANYONE can win. ANYONE. It's amazing. I really liked Shelby...but she got cut last night. I'm not sure who I like now. I'll have to watch tonight and then figure out who my new favorites are.

I've been doing these workouts and they are killing me.

Love Day...

2010-02-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

I love a lot of things.

Most of all, I love my family.

And my friends.

And, my iPhone.

And my Asics 2140's. We spent half a day this weekend trying to find every pair of 91/2's we could. They are my favorite shoe and they have been marked down (and maybe discontinued/changed). We managed to find two pair that are now sitting safely in my closet until my current pair wears out. I love it. It might be a little bit ridiculous and a lot excessive, but it was necessary, I think.

I also love sunny days in the dead of winter. We had another fabulous weekend and it was filled with so much sunshine, I could hardly stand it. We spent hours at the park and outside. We wore the kids out...not something that is so easy to do when they are stuck inside all day.

We are leaving on Thursday for Orange County, so our week will be quick. We are going to celebrate Caleb's first birthday with cousins, Disneyland, and hopefully, MORE sun! We are counting down the hours!

(She's sort of driving me crazy with her tantrums and her whining, but when's she sweet, she's oh so sweet. She took a break for awhile, but she's back to answering questions with "Oh, of course!")

(Man, this kid kills me. He's just the best. He's been fighting a cold all week and running a fever, but he's still as happy as a clam. He loves to sing and he loves to climb stairs)

(Soaking in the last of the sunshine)

We were on a break...

2010-02-07T10:14:00.000-08:00

I've been on an unplanned blogging break. Not sure why--I just didn't feel like posting.

It's been an unusually emotional few weeks around here. I've stopped breastfeeding, I got an IUD, I've been suffering from insomnia, and we are on a total budget (aka: all extra cash goes to bills). It's all a little bit depressing, and I'm assuming...what has got me down lately.

And maybe the crappy weather too. We had a few nice days last weekend (and we were at the park all weekend as a result), but now its back to rain. And gray--so much grayness.

Lilly was up with my parents for the weekend and the second I dropped her off at our halfway mark, I felt this huge wave of calmness sweep over me. Isn't that so sad? I adore my daughter, but only having to keep track of one child, is so, so, SO easy. Perhaps it's the stage she's in, but she's tough right now. Really tough.

I've been doing some really dumb things lately. Last week, the kids and I met Ryan at a park in Midtown so I could run to a quick appointment. Ryan was getting Lilly out of the car and asked where her shoes were. "Well...I guess her shoes are at home."

Today, I did a bunch of random things. I lost my cell phone for a few hours only to hear it ringing in the junk drawer when I called it. Then, Caleb and I went downtown to take Ryan some running clothes and shoes. He was going to take Caleb while I went to have my bangs trimmed. I switched cars with him and drove home. When I got home, there was a message that I had forgotten Ryan's running shoes. And, as I listened to the message, I realized that I had forgotten my hair appointment--the reason I had left Caleb with Ryan in the first place.

I'm losing it.

Ryan suggested I start entering ALL things into my iCal. As in things like remembering to put my kids in the car, brushing my teeth, closing the garage door, etc.

I think he might be on to something.

Hearts...

2010-01-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

Um, yes.

Yes.

I will be breaking out my crafting skills to make these puppies.

See how here.

My almost 3 year old is totally running the show...

2010-01-26T17:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know what happened. I thought I was in control. Well, I thought I was mostly in control.

Ugh.

Lilly isn't interested in using the big girl potty. At all. When I ask her in my overly enthusiastic voice if she would like to put her big girl panties on, earn a princess toy, a few chocolate chips, maybe sit on the potty for a bit and read a book, I get the same answer:

"No, thanks."

At least she's polite about it.

And then there's her diet. She wants mac 'n cheese for every meal. And maybe a banana every once in a while. Which isn't doing much for her intestinal tract because she's been working on a poop for over 24 hours now. I've got poop coming out of my eyeballs. If it's not Lilly with her issues, Caleb has got something brewing. So much poop in my life.

It feels like Lilly gets everything she wants. She rarely hears, "No." I'm doing a horrible job of disciplining her and when I do, she has monumental tantrums. Or she cries as if I had shredded her blanket or something. I'm so frustrated. I HATE meal times and since they come three times a day, my days are sucking lately.

It's still raining here. This is something like the 10th day in a row of hard rain. I'm over it.

So I end this post on a positive note...Lilly has been interested in me doing her hair lately! This is huge. I had succumbed to the fact that my little girl's hair was just always going to be a little bit less than perfect. Like, maybe even a little ratty? Hooray for Lilly and her willingness to explore her hair options!

The files are big and I'm too impatient to load more than a few at a time...

2010-01-24T23:02:00.000-08:00

So, this pretty much concludes our favorites from our photo shoot with Wendy. I'm totally owning my chubbiness, so the photos of me aren't getting me as down as much as they did initially. There's always next year, right?

Right.

But my family is at this really fragile, fleeting, temporary juncture, and I really wanted to make sure I had some solid memories of it all. Even the parts I don't like all that much. My kids are growing up so fast...it's so cliche, I know, but I really want to freeze time. I get so sad to think about Caleb not being a baby for much longer. Hmmm.

And another thing: So. Sick. Of. The. Rain.

I don't mind rain in moderation. In fact, I enjoy it. But this stormy, windy mess is no fun at all. I can't remember the last time we saw the sun up here in Northern California. California. Cali. CA. Remember who you are CA and bring back the sun. Please. For the love.

My monthly curse is due to arrive anytime and I'm not feeling so hot, so I'm turning in now.

(I look puffy, but I'm owning it, so whatever.)

Hot...

2010-01-23T18:39:00.000-08:00

It's no surprise to those of you who know me, that I love me some red lips.

This is my new favorite.

It's called Cruella. Which is so appropriate since we've been watching a lot of 101 Dalmations during this very, very rainy week.

2010-01-23T16:59:00.000-08:00

Blue Lily

2010-01-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

Check out Tyler and Wendy's blog--they are EVERYWHERE this year. If they are anywhere near you, take advantage!

I'll post a few of our recent family photos over the next few days.

Keeping it real...

2010-01-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

Oh man. This husband of mine is too nice. And so are my friends and family.

Here's the thing: While I appreciate all the very generous things that were said about me, the birthday post pretty much solidifies the whole "I blog to make myself look/seem so awesome." It makes me a tiny bit uncomfortable, but since it is my birthday, I'll get over it.

I think I liked hearing about my "keeping it real" quality the most. Sometimes though, I can be "too" real and then I teeter on the edge of being cruel; the opposite of compassionate, if you will. I have been known to pshaw the troubles of others (usually my family) with a reminder that, "Yeah, we all have problems." And, I tend to not understand why people struggle so much. I mean, how hard is it to deal with reality? See...the "real" in me is almost a fault.

So, on this day devoted to me, I feel like I should also point out some of the not so glamorous things I deal with...

*Motherhood/Wifehood has sucked a little bit of life out of me. I can just now see the light, and I feel like I'm starting to dig myself out of a deep hole and move on to a better, happier place. Which brings up the next point.

* I've gained a lot of weight over the last five years. And while some of it can be blamed on pregnancy, most of it can not. I'm working on it though, I'd I'm hoping that 2010 is my year to finally beat this beast of mine. I might be able to bench press a 3rd grader, but I certainly can't fit into my designer jeans. That's a bummer and not something I'm prepared to give up. Shallow? Maybe.

* I spend frivolously. Yes, I have a shopping problem. Not a major one, but one nevertheless.

* I have debt.

* I'm lazier than most people. I'll make any excuse to NOT work out on the weekends, not to tackle the laundry, not to hang the frames that have been sitting on the landing for months now. I also hate to clean (so I pay someone).

* I procrastinate...big time. I suppose this goes along with being lazy. But, I've been telling Ryan for weeks now that I'll get him a budget. And I haven't sent out our Christmas/New Year card yet.

* I have big (maybe too big) dreams. This is a not so great trait for a few reasons. 1) I have a list a mile long of things I want to do (sewing projects, painting projects, organizing). And 2) It can make the here and now seem depressing.

Just a few negatives to balance out the positives and keep everything in perspective. Perspective can be skewed out here in the Blogland.

Having said all that, I have a great life.

And birthdays are fun.

January 20

2010-01-20T01:26:00.000-08:00

This is Ryan.

There's this great part in the movie Michael Clayton where George Clooney's character is describing a cut-throat lawyer, and he says to the evil client: "It's not like you hired the guy for his low-key regularity..."

Every time I see it on a movie channel, I stop and watch it. I also do this with Titanic, when the ship's sinking, and with the Clive Owen movie Children of Men--and, lately, anytime I see Band of Brothers on HBO. (Just one peculiarity of mine that drives Jen insane).

But I guess that's the point. For years, whenever Jen would describe me to people--even her ex-boyfriends--she'd say, "Ryan's crazy." It is her default description of me, and I guess in some What About Bob?-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest kind-of-way... it's a compliment; but I never had that catch-all compliment descriptor for Jen.

Until Michael Clayton.

What I love most about Jen is her low-key regularity. It's been tested with parenthood, sure, but it's still there, and with a shrug, she'll be over it, and off to something truly important.

I hope my kids wind up with that part of her personality, because it makes hardship more bearable and tempers exuberance.

Jen's also indulgent about everything because she values things for what they are, and it makes her otherwise quirky obsessions things of style, grace and sophistication (Tom Ford, call me. Come over to our place, please).

She's easy to be around--another of those "low-key regularity" family of traits that make me love her. I'm not far off, either. You see a lot of this in what her friends and family say about her. I asked a handful of them to write love notes. I'm always hacking into Jen's blog alone on her birthday. Why not share in the moment this year?

Here's what they said:

From Lisa (Jen's mom) and Mike (her dad):

Jen, you are beautiful inside and out.

A few birthday items:

I love your laugh.

I love how you always manage to sneak upstairs and take a nap when I visit.

I love watching how you interact with Lilly and Cal. You are a wonderful mother.

You take lots of beautiful pictures, get them framed, and then don't hang them!

You read good literature , but you can't resist People and Us Weekly.

You have a style and grace about you that people enjoy. You always have trendy, fun stuff that I want to run out and buy for myself!

You talk to me when I'm feeling blue. I appreciate that more than you know.

Dad appreciates your good cooking!

Dad says you always keep calm and carry on.

When I look at you, I am reminded of how blessed I am to be your mother and I'm grateful we are such good friends.

Happy Birthday, Jen! We love you so much.

Mom and Dad

From Shannon (Jen's sister):

One of the best things I love about Jen is her laugh. I'd say it's a cross between a mouse and The Joker. It just always puts me in a good mood whenever I hear it. Lucky for me, we laugh a lot in our family. Over the last couple of years, since Jen has started her family, I can't get over what a wonderful mother she has become. To watch her with Lilly and Cal makes me only hope to be as good as a mother as she is. As her little sister, I have looked up to Jen in a lot of ways. She is smart, caring, funny, stylish and witty. I loved her style so much, I even recently got bangs too! I know when I am home, and with Jen's family, everything just feels better. I get to spend time with Jen and her lovely Lilly and Cal baby. I 'm so excited to watch those two grow up and to be a part of their little lives. Jen has the ability to light up any room with her positive vibes, style , red lips and infectious laugh. Jen, my pretty sister, I love you very very much. Happy Birthday! I'll be home for another visit very soon.

Love,

Shan

From Brianne (Jen's sister):

I mean, really, at the end of the day, I got pretty lucky as far as siblings go, and I'm even luckier that I'm able to call my older sister my best friend. I love hanging out with Jen. We always have so much fun together. We laugh at the same things, think the same people are crazy, and both like a little snack at the mall every once in a while. I know that Jen has my back too, no matter what. Even when I try on a trendy dress and ask her how it looks. She'll cock her head to the side, give a sympathetic smile and be all, "ummm..." She's honest and tells it like it is. She's on my side when everyone else is MIA. She'll always be there to tell me that I'm not the hot mess and that everyone else is. And that's more than a little comforting. Love you, Jen! Happy Birthday!

From Christian (Jen's brother):

uhhhhhh.........

[I think that's Chris's version of getting choked up, kind of like at testimony meeting, and he can't find the words, so he just makes that noise and wipes a few tears away, then walks away after giving Jen a hug. I've seen them together--hear them talking on the phone at all hours of the day and night--and they have an unspoken affection and love that carries with it something profound. Chris, it's cool. We get it. -Ry]

From Kelly (one of Jen's best friends):

Happy Birthday, Jen. Where do I start? I have so many funny memories with you. I mean, we were roommates through college, doesn't that say enough? I could tell your readers about all our late night trips to 7-11 for Pepsi and chips; our totally crazy roommates (remember the one with bulimia?); our road trips to California; or dare I mention the dance clubs?

But one of my favorite memories with you had to be when your Dear Ol' Dad decided to buy you your first computer way back in 1995. We stayed up all night, and I mean all night, until the sun came up, "connecting" to AOL and learning all about chat rooms. How cool we thought we were, chatting with random boys. Remember what a good idea we thought it was to then give these random boys are phone number? I just remember us screaming when the phone started ringing at 4 a.m. We couldn't believe they were all actually calling. Why were we so surprised? I'm sure that is exactly what your dad intended you to be doing with your new computer.

The thing is, Jen, the reason I have so many funny memories with you is because you are such a fun and funny person! I love your great sense of humor and laid back style. You have always been true to yourself and honest to those around you. You are a wonderful friend to me and I will cherish our friendship always. Thank you for always being there for me through thick and thin. I know I can always count on you. Happy Birthday Best, I love you.

Kelly

From Meggan (my sister):

I've loved Jen since the first time I met her. A fashionista in her finest form, Jen gives off the greatest first impression with her confidence and style. But she only gets better once the conversation begins. Jen is, by far, one of the easiest people to talk to. From small talk to serious matters, words flow freely from one thing to the next. I really don't ever get tired of hearing her take on things. She's frank about life and will say things as they are, which inevitably creates an instant bond and openness. Because who really wants to leave a conversation feeling like their life/problems/issues are too taboo to talk about? Or that they've just been "one-upped" and thrashed by comparison? You just don't come away from Jen feeling that way. It's refreshing, really.

She is generous, smart, creative, and patient. I really am a better person when I think about what I've learned just by watching her be herself.

Happy Birthday Jen!

From Missy (my sister):

There is so much I love about Jen. She fits in wherever she goes. But, she doesn't lose herself in the process. A group of Juice and my friends met up with Ryan's friends in Sacramento to run a race from San Jose to Santa Cruz. 199 miles, 12 people, 2 vans, 24 hours. We took turns running, found bathrooms in the wilderness, and only added layers of clothing when weather demanded.

Jen didn't care to run that race, but she willingly drove the 12 person van filled with stinky runners. When Devin, probably the one who smelled the worst, mentioned that he did not smell at all, Jen didn't believe him.

"No, really, I don't. Smell my wife beater," he said, as he threw her his top.

She took one whiff and started dry heaving.

Oh, Jen. I think we still owe you for that one. I know Devin does at least.

She has style, laughs easily, doesn't dwell on unimportant things and can make an intelligent comment in any conversation (celebrities, politics, babies, books...).

She is the perfect sister-in-law. I forget about the in-law part though because to me she is another older sister that I can shop with, commiserate with and receive answers from--someone that I can always trust.

Happy Birthday, Jen!

From Jen's friend Heidi:

The things I love most about Jen include her class, her humor, and her honesty. She has great taste in shoes/makeup/books/etc. She makes those around her feel comfortable, which I admire so much. I love her knowledge of all things celebrity. She is the one that told me about blogs back in 2005. I'm so glad we have kept in touch since our London days. Happy Birthday Jen!!

From Jen's friend Kathryn:

Happy Birthday to Jen. I like that we get to focus on her for one day out of the year.

I've had a unique friendship with Jen in that knew her in silly blogland before I really knew (i.e actually met) her. Perhaps strange to an outsider, & it could have been quite awkward or disappointing to actually meet, but nope - not with Jen. Of course not. There were no surprises in meeting her, except that I liked her even more. I'm sure that this can be credited to my very favorite quality about her (& about my favorite people in general) - she's just real. 100% herself, in how she approaches life, her family, her children. She's unabashedly who she is, without filters. Jen isn't someone who makes adjustments based on who she's with. She's genuine. She's sincere. These qualities make me all the more comfortable with who I am, make her a lovely friend & make me trust her & love her that much more.

Happy birthday to you, friend.

From Jen's friend Lindsey:

What I love about Jen...

I love everything about Jen. She is effortlessly cool, stylish, clever, beautiful, funny, and yet still entirely down-to-earth. I love that Jen is 'real'. There are no pretenses with her and considering how freaking great she is, that's pretty amazing. Jen is true to herself without ever, ever being judgmental. For all of these reasons, she is one of my favorite people. Plus, it is just fun and easy to be around her. Even when I don't see her often (talking years here), it's so easy to pick up right where we left off at next meeting. Also, Jen let me borrow her shoes for my first date with my husband. Thanks, Jen. You're the best London roomie. Happy Birthday. I hope you have the best day.

From Dev, who needs no introduction after the story up above:

Here are a few reasons why I hold Jen in such high esteem:

1. She's real. There's no mincing of words or feigning of friendship - I
love it. She could be German.

2. She's the Mama Llama. During our Tahoe excursion, Lilly, Avery, and I
gathered around and listened to Jen read the book "Mama Llama." I don't
know why it impressed me so much, but she read the words with a
tenderness and love that only a mother can produce. That's Jen - a tender,
loving mother. I always find myself trying to imitate the "Mama Llama"
voice as I read to my girls now.

3. She's a bookworm. I love how much Jen reads! Sure, she maintains her
daily dose of blogs and People excerpts, but every time I am around her she
has a different novel in her hands or is talking about the latest
bestsellers.

********************************

Anyway....

There are more of you, but there's only so much time in the night, and we're only two hours into her birthday.

Post your love notes in the comments, please -- especially if you're one of those dreaded lurkers who suck the joy out of blogging without the nerve to say hello. You may as well just wish Jen well on Facebook. I don't get lurkers. They ruin everything. And everybody goes private and I can't read anything because I'm not on the special list, and then people get that uniquely American "culture of fear" thing going... ugh.

Anyway, leave a note.

Jen:

Lilly had this to say...

...and then a witch and princess olivia and the bears and princess leaia and darth vader and the bears up in the clouds and nana and bri and shann and chris and papa and disneyland and my cousins and minney and happy birthday, mommy!!!!

Cal said...

dadadadadadadadadadad (and then he did that thing where he motorboats his lips and spits out everything in his throat... and then he smiled that smile).

The photographer who got all famous on Oprah--the one who took our pictures in the rain--she sent Jen the pictures tonight and they're nice. Jen can post those later.

And all of you other friends, please, do post something to Jen. Don't go to Facebook for it.

(Jen, I really am troubling "deaf heaven with my bootless cries" during this time of year, but thank you for loving me in spite of the winter. It's as true as ever:

"...With what I most enjoy contented least;/ Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,/ Haply I think on thee, and then my state,/ Like to the lark at break of day arising/ From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;/ For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings/ That then I scorn to change my state with kings.")

Ryan

Talk about your rainy days...

2010-01-19T19:16:00.001-08:00

Rainy days are here to stay. At least for the rest of the week. So far, it's been ok. Both kids took great naps today and I got a chance to catch up on my new obsession.

Have you seen "Hoarders" on A&E? Oh my. I can't pull myself away. Check it out. Or don't. It might make you want to scrub your floors and dust.

Caleb is 11 months old tomorrow. He's not usually in just a diaper--I do clothe my children. But, I usually pull the camera out after I've stripped him down in preparation for his bath.

Cute boy.

Tomorrow we are heading over to our new, local library. I'm so excited. I can't wait for Lilly to get her own library card. We already have a list of books we want to look for and check out. Fun times at the library are coming our way.

OMG...

2010-01-14T18:48:00.000-08:00

(waiting for Ryan to relieve me...)

I'm going out to dinner with my girlfriends.

It's a miracle.

I curled my hair.

And I have on a new shirt (thank-you J.Crew sale!)

I think I have crusty graham cracker on my pant leg, but it's ok because my sweater covers it up. And, I don't have any other clean jeans.