Wait.
What I meant to say is that I've been thinking a lot about whether or not to have more kids. Or, ONE more kid. I should say, "we." We are really struggling with the decision. We have days when we are more than sure our family is complete--usually when we are fresh off a three day "vacation" that granted us no sleep and a lot of extra work.
My thought are all scattered on this subject, so this post will not be very eloquent. As if any of my posts are.
I have friends who have (are) struggling with infertility and it makes me wonder if I'm taking my body for granted by NOT having another baby. Does that make sense? I have absolutely no problem getting pregnant. None. But, my doctor did tell me that my next pregnancy would be high risk--my previous pregnancies and history of high blood pressure automatically put me in the category. This means that if I were to have another child I would be in the doctor's office at least once a week in the third trimester--maybe even more than once a week. It was hard enough juggling the appointments with Lilly (easier sans kids) that I'm not sure I could manage trying to do it with both of them now. Maybe it's just best to listen to my doctor and consider the possibility that my family is complete.
I started this post a few days ago and I was pretty sure we were done. Today, I'm leaning toward doing it all again.
I'm a disaster.
We have a pending vasectomy appointment, so we have to come to some sort of decision. It's not like my flooring issue--I can't put it off forever.
(snip, snip)
I'm not getting any younger. And my body takes a beating as a result of being pregnant. I'm sort of looking forward to being in control of it again. Do I really want to do it all again?
For a cute little baby? Absolutely, YES!
No.
I don't know.
10 comments:
Oh but do you have to decide right now? Can you put off the vasectomy appt a year and give yourself more time to think it over?
YES! The answer is yes. I think we've decided to table the conversation/decision until next summer.
Oh whew! I mean I know you're sick of colds and winter already, but that's a pretty big decision! Just wait til Cal starts crawling around and acting all "big". Then you'll want just one more baby in the house.
The outing was fun today, though short.
"Sleep on it" is always pretty decent advice. And you can make a decision right now... but maybe not a PERMANENT decision, you know?
Yeah, I would agree with Heidi and Kathyrn. I definitely want another one - not cause it's SO much fun to juggle things like drs. appts. and schedules and so on and so forth with three vs. two (and Jon would be perfecly happy if I said I was done) but I fear that if I don't, I will regret the decision - not in a year or two - but in 5 or 10 or 15 when it's too late to consider having another. Two just seems like such a small family. And I kind of want at least one of my kids to have another sibling that's their same gender. I'm sure I'm biased because of my close relationship I have with my sisters, but I don't want to deprive my kids of that opportunity and I do believe ultimately, we will be really, really glad we (read: I ha, ha) did it. But it's obviously a very personal decision and only you and Ryan know what is best for you!
I think about this a lot. And I think a lot like Farrah. Just thinking about them and our family in ten or fifteen years makes me want more. But it is personal and nobody else can really know what makes up that decision in the end. Just wait until cal stands by himself and tries to take steps though. I am dying that Chloe is this old...
Good call to wait until next summer to discuss this! Having more kids and snip-snip... while related, are kind of unrelated to me. Snipping is so final (though reversible). Bob would never snip snip. In a way this makes me love him even more. I also think he wants a million kids... which freaks me out a lot. Keep trying until we get it right is what he said when he found out we were having another girl. Of course he was kidding... But I do find myself day dreaming about a little boy. Especially after spending fifteen minutes in the play center with yours, Jen. He's amazing.
We decided to have two because we believe everybody deserves another person on this earth to complain about their parents with and only a sibling can fully appreciate the complexity of those complaints. We decided to stop at two because being an American living in a city/town I don't need a gaggle of offspring to run my farm. Two because being American our children, then their children will produce more waste and consume more resources than their fair share. Two because choosing to stop seemed far more responsible econonomically and ecologically than continuing because we could and we wanted to. Snip, snip because it was his turn to have his genitals altered for the betterment of the family. Snip snip because birth control sucks!
Nadia
oh man... are we going to Chevy's again???
Oh Jen. I understand this so well. I definitely didn't want to do it again after Eden, but I just didn't feel complete. Then when we had Dylan, I thought, this is a good family and I'm okay with it. But I also had that feeling inside...the one you're talking about. Just the contemplation. And then low and behold Lila gets conceived without us even knowing it.
I knew we were done after her, but getting the actual vasectomy done was a hard day for me. Just the fact that everything was so permanent. But really, for my sanity, it's a good thing. Kids are hard. And getting them here is even harder.
But.........so worth it.
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